Traumatic memories
by Misakixxusagi
Summary: SEQUEL TO "WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?" - Yukina and Kisa are dating in high school and Kisa still hasn't told him about his horrible past trauma - However, when he does tell him, Yukina wants to go all out on vengeance while Kisa tries to stop him- Miki and Shinobu included- Yaoi, AU, lemons, and bad language.
1. Start

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or Junjou Romantica!~**

**Author's note: Okay, this is the SEQUEL to "What's your number?" - read that before you read this if you want to know what's going on! ^^ I'm still sick, so updates won't appear magically like they usually do - and each chapter for this story will be 2k or a bit over only because I have 3 other stories. *_***

**Enjjjjjoy! :)**

Kisa glares at the bright smile on his lover's face. He just woke up and got down to answer the door in his pajamas only to see a super excited Yukina. His lover has his hair styled today so he looks extra handsome, he's wearing casual clothes (a rare sight, indeed) and there seemed to be sparkles around his princely image. His prince looks even better these days - is love changing him or is he just naturally getting hotter? Whatever it was, it blew Kisa's breath away and he's already sick, so now it's killing his lungs.

"G-Good *cough* M-m-orning," Kisa greets him, covering his mouth in vain to hide his obnoxious and irritating cough.

"Good Morning, S-Shouta-san," Yukina smiles his dazzling smile.

_Shit, we were on first name basis weren't we?!_ Blushing, the raven doesn't know what to do.

"Er... *cough*, c-come on in, then," he welcomes him inside shyly.

"Ah, no, I... wanted to ask you out for a date," his prince tells him as he grabs his hand.

"Eh?!" Kisa gasps and then coughs again.

He's been sick for a week now and he's finally starting to get better, but he wouldn't say he's up for a date. Ever since they started dating, they'd go straight to love hotels or Kisa's house (since his parents are hardly at home). Going on dates or hanging out isn't easy for them - whenever Kisa is free, Yukina has work and whenever Yukina is free, Kisa is busy with Miki and Shinobu. As he looks up into his lover's eyes, he just can't reject this golden opportunity even though he's choking with his coughs.

"W-where are we g-going?" Kisa asks as he squeezes Yukina's warm hand.

"I got us tickets to an amusement park! That is... if you're feeling better, Shouta-san," Yukina gives his lover a concerned look.

Swallowing his cough, the raven nods. "I'm fine, l-let's go!"

With that said, Kisa gets changed while his lover waits for him. Going up the stairs kills his brain as he starts thinking the world is moving and shaking - motion sickness is awful and he's experiencing it at every step. When he reaches his room, he explodes into a coughing fit. He really wants to go, honestly, so he has to hide his cough. Anyway, it's his last phase of the sickness and after this he'll be alright. It's just that this phase has a non-stop coughing attached to it.

He quickly gets dressed and is about to come down the steps, but Yukina is already there.

"Looking good," his prince says as he leans down for a good morning kiss.

However, Kisa backs away instinctively.

"Ah, sorry...," the raven looks away and they awkwardly descend the wooden staircase.

When they're out of the house, Yukina takes this opportunity to grab his lover's hand again.

"You... don't have to force yourself with me, okay? Just enjoy yourself, Shouta-san," he says kindly.

Kisa gulps. He's definitely forcing himself to go on this date... but it's worth it, so it's okay. And he's going to enjoy himself - he's 100% sure of that since any time spent with his lover turns into a treasured memory.

* * *

In front of the amusement park gates now (their hands separated long ago since they got on the train), both Kisa and Yukina feel equally excited now. They hurry into the crowds and start picking rides one by one.

Every ride is a pain in the ass for Kisa.

First: The Mega-Booster roller coaster was a disaster. Yukina assured him that this ride isn't that scary. It really wasn't scary - no, it just flipped Kisa's stomach upside down like a million times.

"HEEEEEELLLLLLPPPP!" He shouted as they lunged down from the highest peak. His shout must've been the girliest shout there.

On the other hand, Yukina was yelling 'WOHOOO!'.

Despite the fact he had no breakfast, his stomach hurt by the end of the multiple flips and twists. As if the world wasn't already spinning for him in his sickness, when he got off the ride, the world was swooning.

"Wow, that was amazing," Yukina smiles as he gets off. His previous hairstyle is ruined and yet he still looks dashing.

Kisa doesn't even want to guess how horrible he looks. He probably has a pale face and messed up hair. His heart and head are throbbing so he begins to walk slower.

"Oh, are you alright?" His prince asks, worried.

"O-of course," Kisa lies. He leans on his lover's shoulder happily for a few seconds and then tries to get back in the zone, but fails.

"Ah, we should try that ride!" His lover points at a water coaster this time.

Second: The cold icy water sprays onto Kisa's warm face like a literal splash of harsh reality. He could barely scream as water kept getting sprayed into his mouth. At least his coughing stopped. On the other hand, his fever seems to be getting worse as they get soaked in the face - thank goodness they were offered clear rain jackets before they got on. However, that didn't mean water didn't seep in between cracks or from their collars.

As Yukina and Kisa get off the ride, the tall brunette can't help but notice water sliding down the man's throat.

Touching his neck slightly, the raven pulls back once more from their contact. This time he's just scared his high temperature might be detected by the slightest touch.

"Oh, sorry, you have water there...," Yukina says guiltily.

Looking at his nice lover Kisa feels somewhat guilty himself. He was sick in the first place, but now he feels like he's relapsed or maybe even gone back to phase one of his cold - the fever state.

Before Kisa can complain, Yukina has already spotted another classic ride.

Third: The Thriller scares the raven just by the sight of it. It's a ride where people are very safely seated and the ride is dropped from a very high height at an insanely fast speed.

"Yu-Yukina, do we have to go on this one?" Kisa frowns._ Why couldn't Yukina just pick the Ferris Wheel or something!?_

"Well, it is my favorite ride... I mean, I could go alone," his prince relents.

"Oh, no, it's fine - I'll come with you," the raven grabs onto him possessively. He can't let his lover go alone on their _date_.

And so, Kisa gets it hard this time as all his stomach, brain, and every other body organ is tortured by dipping down at full speed. Sadly, the ride doesn't just whoosh down once - no, it dives down from the top to bottom at least five times (_or was it 6?_). The raven is sure he won't be able to survive any more rides after this one.

When he does get on the ground, everything is spinning faster and even his prince's face is blurry. The sparkles have dimmed down and he can hardly tell if it's Yukina by his side at all.

"Wasn't that ride great, Shouta-san?" Yukina asks.

The raven nods. He can't speak or else he'll puke.

Fourth: The Rotor ride could kill Kisa - like seriously, god knows how he survived after that awful experience. A machine that straps people on the inside and spins until they could puke, this ride gives Kisa the worst headache ever. He doesn't know how many minutes they've spun and he's already tired of it all.

He just wants to leave now.

But no, the ride continues to spin him, making his world get blurry and his eyes hurt. He just couldn't shut them as hard as he tried - the shock was too much so he kept them open.

After the ride ends, the raven just collapses onto the ground on his knees.

"W-water, Y-Y-Yukina," he breathes heavily.

"AH, are you alright? W-wait for me on this bench," Yukina leads him towards a place to sit. "I'll get you water."

Kisa doesn't know if he's sat on a hard bench or some flowery cushion because he can't feel anything anymore. All his body is numb and shaking. He's like a puking bomb right now - anything could trigger his sickness. It was mid-March now and he was dying already (or so he felt like it). If Yukina didn't get water, then Kisa is sure he'll die.

Sweating bullets now under the glare of the sun, the boy is starting to get delusional. He just saw Angelina Jolie strut right past him with Brad Pitt at her side. His eyes popped as he then saw Jesus walk behind them - same long beard, same clothes, and he wore a golden cross. His eyes are definitely messing with him as he sees one of his gang rapist walk towards him. He scowls. _Of all the people to hallucinate, why the fuck was he on that list?!_

And then the figure gets more distinctive instead of the other somewhat blurred out characters. His blonde hair gets shinier, his thin lips get thinner, and his slanted eyes get narrower - guy #2 on people Kisa wishes would die comes to life in front of him.

"Oh wow! Kisa Shouta, is that you?!" The boy says, smiling.

Repulsed by that ugly smile, the raven tries to look away and pretend he's someone else, but it's too late - the guy is already close enough to see Kisa with his 20/20 vision.

"It is you, Kisa! It's been a while, hasn't it?" The boy continues as he stands right in front of the sickly boy.

Kisa remains silent - both for unwilling reasons and because he's sure he'll puke if he utters a single word.

"Oi, are you still upset about... the incident? Look, it was a big mistake on my part - I'm usually the smart one in that group, I don't know why I let them do it... I'm sorry about that," the boy says now, frowning.

_Ha! He's sorry now? He wasn't sorry when he had paintbrushes in his hand! _Kisa shudders. He remembers everything vividly - this fucker was the one who dared to place paintbrushes inside Kisa.

"... Do you think I'll forgive you?" Kisa glares with all his might at the tall figure.

The boy's frown falters. "Kisa... it's been so long, you should forgive and forget... we've certainly moved on..."

"BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THE ONE BEING ATTACKED!" The raven shouts, angry.

Blood pulsing in his head, Kisa feels extra woozy. No one saw it coming - Kisa bent down and puked all over the boy's shoes. As if all his hatred was being poured out, the raven puked like never before.

"SHOUTA!" Yukina's voice roars through the crowds as he runs towards his lover.

Instantly, the young boy places a warm hand against the boy's back and helps him get it all out. Wiping any vomit on the raven's pale face and pushing Kisa's hair out of his face, Yukina takes care of his lover lovingly.

"Are you alright now, Shouta?" His prince asks him, gazing into his eyes with love.

"No, please... take me away," the raven blushes. He wants to go far away from here. Really far.

"Okay, Shouta-san, let's go," Yukina helps him up, but a hand stops the brunette.

"What're you going to do about my shoes?!" The boy looks at them in disgust. They were all lovey-dovey and completely forgot about his existence.

Kisa doesn't feel guilty about his actions at all, but what Yukina does is something Kisa wishes he'd have recorded.

Taking lots of money out of his pocket, he crumbles them and throws them at the boy's chest.

"Hope that's enough," Yukina gives a glare at the boy and then continues to leave with Kisa.

In the middle of the way out, Yukina carries Kisa.

"OIII! L-Let go o-f me!" Kisa cries, embarrassed to death. Well, if he could die, he would've died long time ago.

"No, you're too weak to walk - don't know why I even let you walk that much," his prince scolds himself.

"B-But I'm fine now!"

"You can't fool me this time! I hate myself for letting you trick me - how come I didn't notice? Am I a bad boyfriend, Shouta-san? That I couldn't even notice that you're still sick?!" Yukina reprimands himself in his guilt.

The raven is quiet for a while. "You're not a bad boyfriend, Yukina - I'm the bad one here. I lied to you... and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't apologize, I'm the one who's bad," his prince takes the blame again.

"No, I'm bad," Kisa says with conviction.

Yukina laughs now.

"What?" Kisa glares.

"Let's agree on this: we're both bad boys," Yukina smiles devilishly.

The raven blushes and weakly punches his lover's chest. "Great, we're both bad."

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and comment if you want to! :D**

**Omake:**

**Miki: O_O WHY AM I NOT IN THIS CHAPTER?!**

**Me: Again with the self-centeredness - be more caring, this is their new start of a long story!**

**Miki: Psh, that doesn't mean you should shun me from this chapter. :(**

**Shinobu: Oi, quit complaining - I wasn't in this chapter either. **

**Me: See, Miki, be more like Shinobu - *is interrupted immediately***

**Shinobu: Although I would love to be in the next chapter.**

**Me: -_- They're all the same. **


	2. Disgusted

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi OR Junjou Romantica (but I own Miki and only Miki -_-)**

**Author's notes: This is PART 1 and I'm finally better - but I'm out of shape from my daily updates since I was sick so long, so I'm trying to go slower. XD **

**Enjoy!**

Yukina takes Kisa straight to a love hotel. He does everything smoothly and flawlessly - gently placing his lover onto the bed, he goes to the bathroom and wets a small towel. After grabbing the wet towel, he wrings all the water out and takes that towel to Kisa, putting it on his head with the softest touch that it's almost ticklish.

"This'll make you feel better - I'll be back with food," he tells his sick lover.

However, Kisa holds onto his prince. He's not going to be alone while he's feeling like shit.

"... -ay...," the raven commands of him. His grip slowly weakens and his hand falls. For some reason the letter 'S' is hard to articulate so he repeats 'tay' a few times like a retard until Yukina gets what he's trying to say here.

"Aw, S-Shouta-san, I can't... you need food," his lover frowns at how lame that obvious statement sounded.

Kisa slowly shakes his head. His heart is practically screaming 'ALL I NEED IS YOU', but his throat is itchy and instead of saying sweet words of love, he begins choking as he explodes coughing. His diaphragm hurts bitterly each time he wheezes out a sickly cough, but he can't stop the urge to cough and clear his aching throat.

The raven sees first-hand at how his lover's gentle expression changes into sorrow - as if each cough is either hurting Yukina's ears or his heart.

" - ... I'll be back in a few minutes - I-I'll run back!" Yukina promises as he gives one last frown at his lover and then he bolts out of the room.

No one told Kisa few minutes (which is probably a 8 minute gap in this case) would feel like forever. Waiting is never pleasant and as he waits in his boredom and sickness, he only has one fear - the fear of dying alone. The red candy stripped room is beginning to move around him as he tries to keep his eyes busy away from his clear sickness - yet, those same stripes remind him of painting... the one thing he wants to forget. Just thinking about the word 'paint' brings horrific memories to the raven.

All the previous good or decent memories of his prodigal art skills have died somewhere along the line - now all that's left are those last nightmarish memories of him being tortured by those four boys. Who knew that mere classmates could ruin his life like this? Just looking at colors makes him think of his palette and from there is nightmare lane - or was it because he met that guy that he's reminiscing about his worst life memories? Or is his sickness making him think of all the lowly things that have happened to him just to make him feel better about his heavy coughing fit?

Whatever it was, Kisa feels like he's going crazy alone.

Then the door flies open and honestly, Kisa at this point hears the sound of birds and trumpets behind his lover's handsome face. That dazzling face looks hot even when he's stressed and sweaty - cough*cough, he's more handsome when he's sweaty and stressed.

However dazzling his lover may be, it doesn't keep the sick awake for long and so as Kisa's eyes slowly close, he falls into a soft slumber that he should've continued this morning.

* * *

"EH?! You f-fainted?!" Miki exclaims, shocked. He spit his strawberry milk in surprise.

"Ew, Miki, you got some milk in my hair!" Shinobu pushes his friend away in disgust.

"But really, how could you faint at such a crucial time?!" The blue-eyed boy ignores the blonde.

"I was sick...," Kisa states awkwardly as he looks down.

"And it's normal to faint in that situation," the blonde supports him and glares at Miki. "It wasn't a crucial time at all."

"It was definitely a crucial time! T-They could've done it!" Miki points out.

"Miki, wait... you don't think he's never done it before, do you?" Shinobu gasps at his naive friend.

His blue eyes check his friends with clueless eyes and innocent eyes.

"... Miki, have you ever done it?" The raven asks and coughs instantly afterwards.

There is an eerie silence and the boy is rendered speechless. Then he blushes a violent shade of red.

"W-W-Why do y-you guys c-c-care?!" He yells this and runs off of the roof, going back into the school.

Shinobu looks at the raven's dark eyes now. "So... that was awkward."

Kisa shrugs. "No wonder Miki hasn't complained to us yet about the wonders of gay sex yet."

"Oh god, I hope he never complains to us," Shinobu shudders and then finishes his own juice box drink.

It was lunchtime and as usual they were on the roof alone. After fainting, Kisa was taken home by Yukina because when he woke up he was in his own bedroom. He hasn't told Shinobu about his middle school classmate - not because they've gone to different middle schools but because he's never told a soul about his... awful gang rape. He's still hesitant to even tell his lover about it - do people ever tell others about something so horrifying? _Can I get the words out...?_

Kisa shudders this time at the mere thought of telling someone about his first experience in that area. He doesn't even want to think about Yukina's face after he hears about Kisa's experience - he can't actually imagine his face, but he's 99.999999% sure that his lover will be upset. Reasons for his upset expression don't line up... but Kisa feels like the main reason Yukina will feel upset is because of Kisa's pain.

_Don't lovers share the happiness and the pain...?_ He doesn't want to give his lover that punishment.

**Author: Thanks for reading! :D**

**Omake:**

**Miki: *_* That's it?! Where are my magnificent lines?!**

**Me: O_o What lines..?**

**Shinobu: The lines you always promise him but never give him... *looks away awkwardly***

**Miki: Yeah, those lines! *glares***

**Me: *starts whistling* I don't remember any lines... **

**Miki: OIIIII! Don't forget my lines next time! I need a whoooolllleeee chapter to myself. *pouts***

**Kisa: ... My lines were few too. **

**Shinobu: This is what you get for making a short chapter... **

**Me: *runs away from headaches* **


	3. Getting words out

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Sekaiichi Hatsukoi~ **

**Author's notes: PART 2 of the previous chapter - it's still short, so I'll try to write a whole chapter next time. XD Also, when I mean that Kisa hasn't told a soul, even his own - I mean that he hasn't talked verbally to someone, so he technically hasn't even told himself in the mirror about this problem - not that a person would do that, I guess, but I thought it was emotional - just that statement that his soul isn't aware of it, but his mind and heart are - I'm a weird person. XD **

**Enjoy! **

It was choking him.

Honestly, the words didn't want to come out - ever. He'd rather die on this choking than articulate the truth to his lover. He's currently practicing telling the truth about his horrible gang rape, but the words don't even dare to escape his mouth even though he's all alone in his bedroom, gazing at his dreary face in the night with only his side lamp giving him light. No, Kisa is a coward through and through. He doesn't even utter a word to himself of the bad memories. He's never told a soul... even his own.

Is that bad...? Not talking about it even to yourself? Sure, the thought circles inside his mind enough times to make him go crazy or even kill himself - he's past those wrist slitting days - but can he ever get those words out?

No.

He couldn't do that.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay, Shouta-san?" Yukina asks his lover for the umpteenth time.

"Like I said, I'm fine now!" The raven scowls. _Sheesh, he's asking me every hour - texting me about my health when he doesn't see me and pestering me about my coughs when I'm close by._

Even though he's complaining about this annoying treatment, he's loving every bit of it. His prince is so caring, handsome, thoughtful, and kind that it makes him fall in love with him all over again. How can he ever tell the truth to this kind person? Break this handsome prince's dazzling smile? Who could be that cruel? If Kisa can keep his secret, he's only saving Yukina from sadness - there's nothing wrong with that...

"But you look pale, Shouta-san!" The boy says now as he drops his paintbrush and moves his hand towards the raven's forehead, checking for temperature. "Hmm, seems normal."

"Oi, people are looking!" Kisa hisses as he pushes Yukina's hand away.

They're always in Yukina's art class during lunch - but Kisa sometimes hangs out with his own friends instead (though those days are less now - Yukina manages to distract Kisa away from his friends). He moves a few good inches away from his lover (though the whole class knows of their relationship by now - not that any of them mind) just in case anyone feels awkward towards the gay couple. He doesn't like things like this in public - it only reminds him of his awful experience even more despite it having no real connection at all. He's never thought of gays as bad people or anything like that, but surely others wouldn't like seeing gays being touchy-touchy around them, right?

"A-Anyway, w-what're you painting today?" The raven tries to change the conversation.

Surprisingly his trick works. Immediately Yukina looks at his canvas and gives his signature dazzling smile.

"You!" He exclaims as if he's pouring all his love into those words.

Kisa gives a dull look. "Not again." He face-palms.

"I-It's only the tenth time - I-I've painted myself over twenty times!" Yukina defends himself uselessly.

By now Kisa's room is full of, well, Kisa. He has so many paintings - all detailed and stunning. Oil paint is the hardest type of paint to master and yet Yukina can easily and effortlessly paint his lover's face without the man standing as a model in front of him - that amazed Kisa even more. Kisa himself... is a prodigy, so meeting another art genius makes him happy. He keeps the paintings Yukina has given to him as a gift safely in his room and he's hung some on his walls. He doesn't want to accept any more, though - he hates looking at his cowardice face.

"Please, no more paintings - I have enough now - my whole wall is full of them!" He says, a bit exasperated.

"But... I like giving you my artwork," the boy pulls a sad puppy-dog face.

_Damn it, _Kisa thinks to himself_, why do I always fall for this face? In the end, I love his face..._

"F-Fine, but I'm not keeping it - Y-You s-should keep it in your house...," and then he blushes as he realizes what he's indicating here. He seriously didn't see where he was going with this.

"Eh?!" Yukina blushes a bit too.

For a while both of them simply gaze at one another, not really knowing what to say. But as Yukina's large hand slowly reaches his, the atmosphere becomes pink and light - even Kisa's heartbeat becomes light as he relaxes.

"Do you... want to come to my house today?" His prince asks him softly. He's being cautious - never wanting to force Kisa.

Now that he's not as sick anymore, the raven nods as his bangs hide his eyes.

* * *

After school, the boys make their way towards the brunette's house. Yukina begins holding the raven's hand as the streets start to get empty. They continue to walk on, but Kisa feels awkward when someone else comes walking from ahead. Letting go of his prince's warm hand, the raven keeps a bit of a distance between them. None of this offends or hurts Yukina - he's used to this. If Kisa doesn't like public display of affection, then he won't annoy his cute lover.

He gives a smile at Kisa and is about to say something - maybe tell a joke - but he sees Kisa's eyes widen as he stops walking.

"Kisa Shouta?" The person who was walking ahead asks, surprised.

Trembling, the raven merely shakes his head. Words don't come out - he doesn't really want to talk to this guy.

Sensing some trouble, Yukina calmly shields the raven as he gently walks in front of him and confronts the mysterious man.

"Do you know him?" He asks the stranger.

"Ah, yes... He was in my art class," the boy says and then continues to walk.

However, just before he's out of sight, he gives the raven a meaningful look.

"Who... was that?" Yukina asks when the boy is gone.

"Just... a c-c-classmate," Kisa looks away, avoiding his lover's honest stare. "L-Let's walk to y-your house, then."

"Ah, okay...," his prince lets the conversation drop. He meets his classmates around all the time so he's used to it... but something about this gave Yukina a weird feeling. You just don't stop and get scared when you see a classmate or do you?

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading! :D And please comment! **

**Omake: **

**Miki: *_* NO LINES?!**

**Shinobu: Tsk, tsk, the same old complaints - try being fucking DIFFERENT, Miki. **

**Miki: Author-san, Shin-Shin is bullying me again. *frowns***

**Me: ... So, Shin-Shin, don't you just hate Miki?**

**Shinobu: Yes - he betrayed me in *Samurai's Mission (another fanfic of yours). **

**Miki: T-t-that was my ancestor!**

**Me: *shrugs* The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...**

**Shinobu: *_* Exactly. **


	4. Suspicion

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or Junjou Romantica! **

**Author's note: I lowered the drama in this story on Kisa's part, but I'll level it back up later on. If you have any questions, PM me. *Also, the guy at the hotel is referred to the guy in "Dirty" chapter 10 of "What's your number" - in case you don't remember that part, go back! **

**Enjoy! :)**

Yukina taps his pencil frantically in his morning class. It's not like the first time he's felt agitated over something Kisa has done or has hinted at. He was super upset over that Shinji guy slapping Kisa and the marks on his lover's wrists - and when he was told explicitly not to beat him up even though Kisa's friends got the chance to (something that still angers him, but in the end he got his chance to avenge Kisa). Today he's irritated over the fact Kisa seems to be hiding something. Why else would he get cold feet every time he sees an old 'classmate' of his? As the brunette keeps thinking about, he soon remembers that guy at the hotel - the guy he let go because he was too busy comforting his lover._ Shit, why'd I let him get away just like that?! I should've beaten him afterwards or something... who was he?_

Slowly, as if on replay, the scene plays out in front of his eyes - that Kisa had gotten upset about something and Yukina felt like beating that guy at the hotel.

_Didn't Shouta-san worry about being 'dirty' that day...? I've found out about his history with that Shinji guy, but what's with the weird classmate?_

Finding no answer to his questions, he keeps tapping his mechanical pencil on the wooden desk.

"Hey, stop it! You'll break the poor pencil," Wataru, Yukina's art friend, comments as he pokes the boy's broad back.

The brunette doesn't stop at all. Instead, he merely increases his speed deliberately.

"You care about a pencil more than my brain? If I didn't do this... my brain would explode," Yukina retorts, glaring at the pencil.

They had worksheets passed around (which Yukina quickly finished) and now the students were talking among each other. In the grand scheme of noises, the brunette's pencil noise wasn't that loud compared to the high-pitched squeals of the girls talking in different corners of the room.

"Gruesome description, as always - why do you think your brain will explode?" His friend asks, somewhat concerned. A person doesn't admit to believing they think their brain will explode that often.

"Argh, don't make me think about it than I already have," the brunette sighs - suddenly his taps are harder.

Wataru frowns at him, now getting up from his seat. "Oi, is it about your boyfriend?"

"... Seriously, Wataru, you can't break through my shield - I won't tell you," Yukina frowns for the tenth time today. Frowning isn't helping his princely beauty at all - his brows knit automatically and there's a very high chance that a stress line will forever be engraved into his forehead if he continues to frown.

"Fine, I don't want to break it anyway," his friend pouts. "But... I think I know what happened to your boyfriend - I went to the same school he went to."

Yukina looks up with half hopeful eyes and half surprised eyes. "R-Really? Then, can you tell me?" He smiles, finally getting rid of that stress line.

His friend gives a sly smile. "I will... if you let me break that shield of yours."

"Not much a shield, really - Sh-K-Kisa-san has been acting strange these days whenever he sees his old classmates from middle school and... I have a weird feeling something is wrong here... but I don't know what." Yukina sighs again - he stopped counting how many times he's sighed today.

"Hmm... that makes sense, because from what I've heard and seen, I think Kisa-san has been bullied in middle school - I think they beat him up in some closet - that's what I've heard," Wataru tells him, looking sad as he talks about it. "I think that's when he stopped painting - I looked up to him in middle school. Who knew he'd quit because of bullies?"

"Wataru, it's only natural for a bullied victim to give up in hard times - do you know who the bullies were?" Yukina asks as he cracks his knuckles, wearing a poker-face that sends shivers up Wataru's spine in a scary way.

"Ah, um, I don't know, but they were in his class, so his age," Wataru explains cautiously. If he were to give too much information... god knows he'll do what he did to Shinji!

He knows exactly who the classmates were - they mocked and harassed Kisa everyday. _If Yukina knew... would he get into trouble?_ Wataru gulps and shakes off the scary thoughts.

"His age, huh... hey, when you said closet... was it an art storage room?" Yukina briefly remembers that hotel guy saying something about this room. He should've questioned him more... and then beat the crap out of him.

Wataru gulps. _If he knows that... then the rest of the info will be easy to find, just ask around here and there. Shit, what do I do? Lie to him? God, no, he'd kill me later... but he could possibly kill four other people and ruin his art scholarship he's been getting._

"No, it wasn't - it was a... janitor closet on the first floor," he decides to lie. All incidents happened in the janitor's closet on the first floor - it'll be too hard to track down now.

"Ah, okay," the brunette shrugs, letting it go.

He doesn't know he's just let go of the main piece of the puzzle.

* * *

"Miki, stop crying already!" Shinobu scowls at the blue-eyed boy with honey blonde hair.

"Bu-But, it's so sad!" Miki frowns as tears slide down his white cheeks.

Kisa continues looking down. They're on the roof before their morning class - they've got plenty of time before the class actually begins. He's somewhat told the truth to his friends. Somewhat meaning he gave them the simple version (which is better than the one before; "I was bullied by jealous artists and I was horribly friendless in elementary and middle school" - obviously except the face two-face friends that bothered him and only hung out with him to steal art tricks): _I was... sexually abused... by four guys_.

Instantly, Miki's eyes sprung up tears and the blonde continued to frown, probably trying not to cry at the broken voice of his friend. How he willed himself to say those seven words is a miracle, but even with the vagueness of the situation, his friends felt sad for him.

It wasn't simple at all getting those words out though. He had been so tired of stopping those words... that he just had to tell someone. Not only was his voice broken and weak, his hands were in tight fists that trembled every time he tried to say a word, and his legs were so shaky that in the very end he just fell to the ground on his knees. His friends immediately reached his side at that point, of course, but the exertion depleted all the energy he had - it was only morning, too!

"... I was... in middle school," the raven sighs as he gets those words out. The burden wasn't off yet - he clearly needed to get it all out or whatever small snippets he gave out would become useless. "I... no, wait, t-they... were my c-c-classmates..."

"Oi, don't force yourself!" The blonde pulls him up gently, Miki helping accordingly as the blonde shoots him a glare.

As his friends help the raven up on his feet again, Kisa can't help but be grateful to have such nice friends - friends that aren't after his talent, art, or money - friends that wouldn't sell him out or trick him. True friends that... have his back, literally and figuratively.

"No... I'm not forcing myself - I want to t-tell you guys this," Kisa gives a very faint smile. Although he's on the verge of fainting, he continues.

Each time the raven stutters or stumbles over his word, his friends wince - they wince at every horror the raven tells them. All that violence... all that cruelty... were they really humans or were they dogs that had rabies? How could teens do something... so disgusting to another classmate? Obviously Kisa had been a quiet kid and bothered no one... yet why would they do this to him?!

Shinobu wanted to kill someone by the time Kisa was done with his full version instead of those seven words. On the other hand, Miki wanted to smash something - a coke can, a flower - anything. And when both of them see Kisa's small figure and his innocent face, it angers them even more.

Tears on Miki's face never seem to stop and at the end, even Shinobu cries, however brief it may be.

"... Fuck, I'm going to kill them...!" Shinobu yells, kicking the fence on the roof violently - the whole silver fence vibrated from the shock.

"Kill?! I want to rip their fucking throats out!" Miki exclaims, glaring at the fence as it keeps moving. If he knew who those guys were... he'd honestly punch the living fuck out of them.

Kisa doesn't say anything to that. His friends never once called him dirty... never looked at him in disgust... why was he ever afraid to tell them? He sighs in relief. He's so glad those suicide attempts kept failing... or else he wouldn't have known such good friends.

"... They d-don't go here - they all go to different schools," Kisa tells them as he grabs the fence. He made it stop moving so much, as if trying to stop the violent emotion. "Now that I've told you guys... I feel like I'll be able to forget about it..."

"Eh, forget about it?! D-Don't you want them to pay for what they've done?!" Shinobu scowls.

Miki nods. "Yeah, they need to get arrested or something! Ah, what's it called, um, they need to be in Juvenile jail!"

"Che, not just jail, Miki, they need to burn in hell forever!" The blonde's eyes glint, his whole body sending out a 'killing' aura.

"So, Shouta, what're their names?" Miki asks first, dying to kill those guys and/or justly put them in jail - he's not too sure if his punches would actually kill them (hence the and/or).

"Yeah, all we need are their names and then we're set!" Shinobu adds in, hitting the air with his small fists. Thanks to his bony fingers, his punches do hurt... him and the other person.

They both wait for Kisa to speak, but the raven shakes his head.

"D-d-don't kill them - or mess with them - I'm trying to forget about them. I'm so happy with Y-Yukina, so I don't want them messing with my brain again," Kisa knits his brow.

Shinobu stops his punch mid-way. "Oh, shit, please tell me you've told Yukina about this before telling us?"

Not understanding where this is going, Miki just watches the two.

"No... I h-haven't told him...," the raven looks away awkwardly.

"Shouta, you need to tell him! He can beat those guys up like he did with Shinji!" Shinobu smiles - only because he can imagine those insane guys getting the treatment they deserve.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Kisa shouts.

Both his friends look at him like he's gone crazy.

"Um, why not?" Miki dares to ask.

The raven looks up with powerful eyes instead of his weak ones. "Because he'd go crazy."

And that seemed reason enough for the boys to remain silent. If he sent someone to hospital over 2 slaps and wrist marks... what'd he do to the four guys that have basically ruined Kisa's puberty - took his virginity away from him so brutally - Yukina would surely take them past the hospital.

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please comment! :D**

**Omake:**

**Miki: Yatta, I got lines!**

**Me: Sigh. **

**Shinobu: I got lines too, Miki, nothing big. *says nonchalantly but is exploding in happiness inside***

**Kisa: Um, guys, you two were just angry and shit, where did that go? *_***

**Me: Oi, Kisa, don't tell me you forgot what an Omake is?!**

**Kisa:... Yes. **

**Me: Oi, someone tell him, I'm too lazy. **

**Shinobu: *clears his throat* An Omake is where the author gets lucky and talks to us - she mainly wastes time and lines here. **

**Me: OIIIII, THAT'S COMPLETELY WRONG!**

**Miki: Nope, sounds about right. *grins***

**Me: ... *goes to emo corner***


	5. Lie 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Sekaiichi Hatsukoi~ (but I own Wataru and Miki)**

**Author's notes: Obento is a Japanese lunchbox, basically. 'Ano' is just like 'um', but I got tired of using 'um'. XD**

**Enjoy! **

Something didn't seem right to Yukina. Although Wataru said he was bullied, the prince thinks it's something else - something far worse. The only reason a person would desperately try to cover something is because it's so serious. Not that bullying isn't serious, Yukina feels like there's more than just that.

He doesn't know that his worries aren't weird and that with each curious thought, he gets closer to the truth.

When he sees Kisa at lunch today, he doesn't know whether to question him or not. Would it seem rude that he's that nosy about his lover's past or would it just bring bad memories for the raven?

Sitting on the roof (no Shinobu and Miki around), both of them sit on the very edge, against the silver fence. They could see classmates walking on the ground from here and they could even see their distinct faces. The wind is light and there are no clouds in sight - it was like a perfect spring day.

It takes him a few awkward conversations before he can actually go on with a few curious questions. As always, Kisa seems to be on the edge, which is why Yukina is cautious about poking and prodding into his lover's past. He hoped the raven was just nervous around him, as most people are.

"So, um, Shouta-san... what do you think about bullies? Like, in general - do you think they deserve to be rightly punished?" The boy fails to poke the point properly. He can't openly ask 'have you been bullied?'.

Instantly the raven flinches, almost spitting his juice - unlike Miki, he keeps his juice in.

"B-b-bullies? Ah... well... ano... I think, that... like, um, as long as the victim... forgives the bullies, then they s-shouldn't be p-punished," Kisa stutters slowly, taking his time coming up with the answer.

Not that he could ever forgive his own personal enemies... no, they didn't deserve such a gift. Forgiving those bastards is the same as accepting the cruel and inhumane treatment and letting it slide.

"Forgive the bullies? Let's get an example - what if my friend was bullied by, ah, I don't know, four random mean guys and he chose to forgave them, but I haven't forgave them at all. What should I do in that situation?" Yukina asks, clearly talking about Kisa here.

And the raven gets it. His eyes widen a bit and then he looks away, hurt. He doesn't know who exposed the truth to him, but he doubts Shinobu and Miki would ever do something like this... or so he wishes they wouldn't. Seeing that his lover is still awaiting an answer, he frowns.

"I would respect my friend's decision because he is my friend - I wouldn't judge him or get angry at him," Kisa snaps and then gets up immediately. He needs to know how Yukina found out and exactly what he knows.

Stopping him, his prince grabs his arm and pulls him back.

"Ah, Shouta-san, where are you going?" He looks worried, but at this moment the raven wasn't going to fall for anything - not even that sparkling background Yukina always seem to have around him.

"To see Miki and Shinobu," the raven retorts curtly as he wriggles his arm out of his lover's strong hold.

"... Don't you want to have lunch with me? You haven't finished your food...," Yukina frowns as he glances at Kisa's unfinished obento which the prince himself made for his lover.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry, I'll finish it at home - thanks for this, by the way," Kisa awkward takes the obento and starts walking away.

"Shouta-san! Have a nice day!" Yukina calls loudly when the raven reaches the door to the school.

Kisa gives a weak smile and then hurries down the stairs, his panic finally showing visibly on his face. Whoever gave Yukina the big hint about the 'four guys' is going to pay for it. It's the biggest hint someone could give! Sure, giving out names is bad, but everyone knows of the Terrible Four of his middle school - the worst enemies a kid could make in a public school. They were known for many things such as: smoking (for middle school, that's pretty awful), playing around, skipping class (teachers gave up on them and apparently their parents paid the teachers to excuse their absences), breaking desks (and sometimes chairs), putting gum in people's hair (whoever they found annoying, that is), getting into fights with other schools (they thought it was their given right to show other middle schools that they were awesome - yet their losing strike says something else), and other things middle school kids hated them for, especially their sharp tongues.

With this huge hint, if Yukina wanted, he could easily find them and then ask them, as the straightforward person he is, about Kisa.

The raven shudders. _God no, please don't let Yukina find out... he'll be so hurt..._

Surprisingly, with all his insecurities about if he's the right choice for Yukina or not, he never thought his lover would hate him if he found out.

Downstairs now, the raven quickly scans the crowds around his classroom, hoping to find Miki and Shinobu instantly. It takes him a couple of annoying and wasteful minutes - so when he finds them, he's relieved that he can question them before class starts.

A little out of breath, he merely walks in front of his friends.

"Oh, hey, Shouta," Shinobu greets him calmly while Miki just smiles.

"Did...," Kisa takes a deep breath after this, making it more awkward, "Any of you... tell Yukina about my bullies?"

His friends shake their heads.

"Why would we do that? You told us not to...," Miki shrugs.

"Then someone else told him...," the raven sighs. This also means he can't stop the person from leaking more info.

"Hey, wait, he knows?" The blonde raises an eyebrow.

Kisa gives a small nod.

"Shit, how much?" Shinobu scowls as he crosses his arms - Miki copies him.

"I don't know... but he knows about there being four guys and that I was bullied. I think he was trying to get information from me," the raven explains, beginning to pace around near their desks.

"That isn't much info to live on anyway - he won't find out, so don't worry," the blonde assures him, smiling lightly.

The raven has this dull expression on his face. "Trust me... those four guys weren't just any other bullies - they were the most annoying bullies in my middle school and they even had their own group name, the 'Terrible Four'."

"Oh! I've heard of them! They came to my middle school once and they got beat really badly. Don't they suck at fighting?" Miki looks at Shinobu for an answer.

The blonde shrugs. "I've never heard of them. Shouta, do you think Yukina will figure everything out...? Don't you think you should tell him yourself before others tell him?"

"No!" Kisa yells, silencing the whole classroom. Everyone's eyes shift towards the raven and he lowers his head a bit, embarrassed.

It took him three fucking years to tell his best friends - how can he tell Yukina?! He would have to use a lifetime of courage to reveal such a thing!

"Why not?" Miki asks when usual chatter starts up again.

"... He doesn't need to know... and I'll try to throw him off track somehow," and with this, the raven is lost in his thoughts, planning and creating new scenarios of how he can get his lover to stop going after this bullying story.

* * *

"Yukina..., stop," Kisa pulls away from a kiss.

They're on the raven's bed, in his house, while his parents are away. Clothes still on, they were just getting things started. Worst timing, maybe, but Kisa had to do something before he either forgot or Yukina found something new. He looks up at his dazzling prince, somewhat scared of what he is about to do. In his defense, he doesn't want Yukina to get into trouble by trying to get vengeance, especially on idiots like the Terrible Four.

With the close, too, Kisa feels intimidated. Lying to someone's face is hard, but lying at your lover's face is harder. The raven keeps listing the reasons he's doing this to give him strength.

"I... have something to tell you...," the raven says, his voice a bit shaky. Shit, if this is how I am when I'm lying, what will I be when I tell the truth!?

"Okay, what is it?" Yukina asks, but his hands are still in a naughty mood as they grope the raven's slim waist.

Oddly enough, the groping helps Kisa forget his guilt.

"Um, you... asked about bullies today, right? Well... I had been bullied, before, in middle school...," Kisa tells him, watching his lover's reactions intently.

Eyes of vengeance, indeed. His eyes displayed his plan to make those four guys wish they were never born...

"In your example, you said four guys... I was bullied by two... The one we saw yesterday is one of them and the other I saw at the amusement park," he admits - technically he's telling the truth. Those were the bullies and that's exactly when and where they saw them.

Except he took the Terrible Four out.

"Oh, okay... are you going to tell me how they bullied you?" Yukina gambles his luck.

"It's not really my favorite story...," Kisa shivers.

"Ah, right, sorry...," his prince says awkwardly. He gambled too much there.

That night, they don't do anything - the mood is ruined and instead they lie in each other's arms. Warm, safe and treasured, the raven enjoyed the closeness as their legs get tangled up together. Every time his lover shifts, he can feel his warmth move - his touch hover around in different places. And every time his lover squeezed him tighter, he felt his heart jump out... and then slowly sink back in from guilt.

This could be counted as his first real big lie - white lies don't count. This could potentially ruin their relationship - this close skin-ship - and Kisa doesn't know if he could ever recover from such a thing. God knows how he managed to become friends with people - actual humans - after what happened to him. He hated humans the most after that... and yet Miki and Shinobu are now his best friends. What would happen if a handsome guy like Yukina would break up because of one lie?

He'd shut himself off from sexual and love relationships.

There was no one in the world for him... except Yukina.

Leaning in closer against his prince's chest, the raven tries to sleep, shutting off his brain before he could feel any worse.

* * *

"Wataru, you were wrong - S-S- ah, Kisa-san was bullied by two people, not four," Yukina tells his friend in first period with a smug face. It's not really something to brag about, though, but he felt like he had to correct his friend.

"Just call him Shouta-san, as you always do," Wataru sighs. "And that's weird, I'm pretty sure there were four people - ah, they had a nickname for their group, too... if only I could remember it."

The light brunette boy shrugs. "Nope, Kisa told me there are only two bullies - he even told me when we've met them."

"And where would that be?" His friend asks, mainly curious.

Yukina takes a moment to think - since Kisa only said it once, yesterday, it was a bit hard to remember.

"Er, um, he told me we met one... ah, at the amusement park! And the other... in some street," he remembers slowly.

And then something clicks in his head.

_Then who's the guy at the hotel...?_

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please comment! :D I hope you lied it!**

**Omake:**

**Miki: Why do I copy Shinobu in that line? Why can't he copy me?!**

**Shinobu: *rolls eyes* Because I'm cooler, everyone knows that. **

**Me: Oi, don't be rude, Shin-Shin, he's cool too. **

**Miki: *shocked* W-w-why are you protecting me? *suspicious look***

**Me: ... No reason. I can be nice too. :3**

**Miki and Shinobu: O_o **


	6. Lie 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (not that Shinobu is in this chapter, but oh well - oh, and I own Wataru)**

**Author's notes: Senpai means older classmate. 'Ne' is just a way to start a question or topic, depends, mostly. 2k**

**Enjoy! **

Generally, all faces seemed to look the same to Yukina. In this case too, he feels that Kisa never mentioning the hotel guy must only mean that one of those two was him and the prince didn't take any notice. It's not like he could perfectly see the one in the dark street - maybe he's the hotel guy...

But his heart still feels weird, as if there's something wrong. Ignoring this gut feeling, he lets go of the thought.

"Ah, the Terrific Four!" Wataru suddenly exclaims.

Yukina sighs. "You mean Fantastic Four? That's a movie...," he trails off awkwardly.

After that, Yukina doesn't think much about the bullying incident. If Kisa is fine with it... he'll forget for his sake.

* * *

_Wataru_, Kisa thinks, _knows about it_. So far he's been searching around, talking to people, to find out who went to his middle school in Yukina's classroom - only one person and it was Wataru. Odd how fate worked against Kisa now that he knows this person is his lover's close friend! What could he possibly say to hush him up about this bullying thing? It's making him go in circles with stupid ideas like threatening him or somehow finding his weakness and then blackmailing him. Of course, Kisa doesn't know how he'd manage to do those things, but it doesn't mean those thoughts don't enter his mind.

In his free time a few days later, he takes time to meet Wataru - they're not well-acquainted, but they of each other's existence with Yukina being their bridge. Now walking into a random hallway, Kisa tries not to be nervous or show how scared he is. Wataru didn't exactly come out as a nice person, making Kisa feel ashamed for stalking Yukina (which he's 100% guilty of doing). They both stare at each other with observing stares, both criticizing the other in their mind.

"So...," Wataru starts awkwardly. "What did you want to talk about?"

"... You went to Nishino Middle School, right?" The raven asks silently.

Wataru looks outside instead of immediately asking. This meeting all makes sense now. Yukina's sudden interest in Kisa's bullied life is making the raven worry. Why he is worried is making Wataru curious.

"Yes... and you were my senpai... art senpai - best artist in the school," he replies, gazing at the people beginning to line up in P.E. for their high jump.

_Such a great artist... crumbled by the taunts and sneers of society. I actually looked up to him_, Wataru thinks, feeling a bit sad. The person he looked up to was a bright and strong artist that dared to cross all boundaries and draw anything and everything. The person he's looking at now is a coward, so weak that he doesn't even want this lover to snoop around his middle school bullying problems.

"So you know about... the Terrible Four, right?" Kisa feels awkward without eye contact; he feels like he's talking to the wall.

"Aha!" Wataru laughs. "They were the Terrible Four! I thought it was weird when Yukina told me only two people bullied you - I knew there were four!"

For some reason, he feels like calling up Yukina now and bragging about this - the way he was rejected by the idea of four people made him feel bad, knowing that he was right. When Wataru looks back, he sees the raven look down at his shoes. _Shit, I shouldn't have been that happy over something like this... _

"Sorry...," the freshmen adds, feeling bad. "So... why does Yukina think there are two people? Or should I ask, why did you lie?"

A usual response would be 'none of your business', but Kisa doesn't want to be rude, especially when he's asking for a favor.

"I lied... to protect Yukina. He doesn't need to know - he'd probably get into trouble with those guys," Kisa explains, still avoiding Wataru's dark eyes.

"To protect Yukina?" Wataru looks incredulous and somewhat annoyed.

A blush covers Kisa's face, ashamed now that he's feeling it in Wataru's tone. "He beat up Shinji... what'd he do to Terrible Four?"

Just that question bothers Wataru too so he can't retort. "... Lying is never the answer."

"I thought violence is never the answer," the raven throws back instantly.

"Shit, good point," Wataru frowns. "Still, you shouldn't lie to him."

Kisa sighs. He already feels bad about lying and now Yukina's best friend is chiding him.

"I'm lying to keep him safe," Kisa tells him.

"Safe? From Terrible Four or from knowing your traumatic memories?"

Suddenly the world turns bleak.

He thought he knew the answer.

He definitely did it to keep him away from the Terrible Four... but he can always have more than one reason for lying, right?

"You know he'd beat the crap out of them," the raven whispers, hoping this is a good answer.

"So what do you want me to do? Shut up about it? Not tell him the truth?" Wataru frowns.

"You want me to say it, don't you? That I'm here to stop you from talking?" Kisa finally looks at those dark eyes, confronting them.

A sly smile cracks on Wataru's plain face. "You got that right. I wanted you to tell me exactly that. Don't you feel one ounce of guilt from asking me that?"

"... As long as Yukina is safe, nothing else matters."

For a solid minute, their eyes battle alone. The solemnity of Kisa's eyes make Wataru back down. At least this guy isn't doing it for bad reasons - keeping Yukina safe is the best reason out there.

"No more lies after this, got it?" Wataru gives a warning stare and then begins to leave.

In the hallway alone now, Kisa feels satisfied that his problem will end here. As long as Yukina never finds out and they don't meet those guys again.

* * *

On a date after school, Yukina and Kisa finally get that promised ice cream date they've been meaning to get. Since Kisa had gotten sick, they haven't had cute dates like this - the amusement park date was a sickening mistake - so Kisa's heart feels the pounding extra hard, buried in guilt. No matter how many times he self-justifies himself, the guilt remains. Holding his lover's warm hand in a narrow and empty street, the raven ignores the thumping in his chest. It was honestly the perfect dream: sunny, clear skies, vanilla ice cream cones, and a soft breeze that tingles.

"Ne, Shouta-san, you've been quiet today... Did I upset you?" Yukina frowns, unconsciously tightening his grip on Kisa's hand.

"Ah, no, I-I'm okay," he lies, awkwardly licking his ice cream slowly.

"Are you sure? You've been like this since last week," his prince observes calmly.

"H-H-Have I!? Well... I'm okay, so don't worry," Kisa stutters at first, licking faster now.

This doesn't go unnoticed.

"Does it have anything to do with those two bullies?" Yukina asks softly - he doesn't want to scare off Kisa, but sometimes being blunt is the only way.

Like a panicked rabbit, Kisa's whole body shakes, surprised.

"N-n-no! N-Nothing at all!" He smiles brightly, despite his nervousness.

Yukina didn't like this - this obviously suspicious behavior that yells guilty. If it's really about those bullies, then what is bothering his lover? The bullies? The poking and prodding Yukina is doing? Or the memories of those bullies? Whatever it was, Kisa couldn't focus properly or even be happy.

"Listen, Shouta-san, don't worry about telling me about those bullies. If it's not your favorite story, then I wouldn't want to hear it either ... just don't force yourself to tell me," the light brunette prince says gently.

In the narrow street, they suddenly stopped (Kisa stopped first, Yukina politely did the same).

"I'm not forcing myself, Yukina... that's not it," Kisa scowls. How could he explain to Yukina without telling him the truth? How could he convey his true feelings of protecting his lover without giving out the whole 'rape' thing?

"Then what is it?" His prince frowns again, and believe it or not, he still looks dazzling under the sun.

"It's... hard to say, really," the raven admits.

"Tell me something, whatever seems easiest," Yukina suggests.

Kisa never thought it like that - nothing actually seemed easy in his mind.

"... I...," god, he was choking on a simple 'I love you' too. Where was his bold side? Did it die from guilt?!

"I...," Kisa starts again, ", I... want to... protect you."

There.

He said it.

In the simplest form he could think of.

Gazing up with cautious eyes, Kisa meets brown eyes that seem to be smiling.

But Yukina is still frowning.

"Why do you want to protect me? From what?" Yukina is trying to be concerned as he's asking this, but there's a tint of sarcasm in his voice.

"... From," the raven blanks out. What can he say?

"Don't tell me, from your bullies?" His prince gasps.

"NO! N-not from them!" Kisa panics again as his heart rate shoots up.

His lover raises a brow. "Then from whom?"

"From... tension. I want to protect you from having stress," the raven tells him. Technically, he's telling the truth, since telling him the full truth is protecting him from awful lot of stress.

Yukina shakes his head. "Don't worry about me - I can handle stress - but you can't, so tell me; what are **_you_** stressed about?"

Before the truth or lie could reach his lips, the raven notices his ice cream starting to melt on his hand.

"AH! Our ice creams!" Kisa exclaims.

Both their ice creams were melting and dripping onto their hands now - how they never thought to lick the cones on a sunny and hot day in Japan is a mystery. Thanks to this distraction, the raven gets free... or so he thought. They go to Kisa's house again and clean up their sticky hands. They had thrown away the cones right then and there in a nearby trashcan, but the walk to the raven's house was long and let's just say sweat and sticky ice cream don't mix well.

Washing their hands twice (thrice for good measure), they come into the living room to watch some shows. During that time, Kisa releases his tension - his lover is occupied, so there's a big chance he'll forget previous conversations.

"So," Yukina begins as the end credits of his favorite show roll, ", are your parents coming home anytime soon?"

"...," the raven almost doesn't want to answer. Despite all the love and lust he feels for Yukina, protecting him from the truth is the number one thing on Kisa's mind... and in order to keep the truth hidden, he needs to kick his lover out.

"Um, well, they're going to be here tonight, very soon, in fact," Kisa lies - in his defense, this is all for good. This lie wouldn't come back and hit him in any way, shape or form - hence why it's called a white lie.

"Ah, really? I wanted... to stay with you," Yukina's hands smoothly envelope the raven's hands - warming them up to the point Kisa could feel the guilt rise, choking him.

_But if he stays... he'll ask more, right?_

_I'm... protecting him. Yes, that's right, I'm doing the right thing. _

"M-Me too," Kisa manages to say this. Words didn't want to leave his mouth anymore, scared that they'll be turned into lies.

Gazing into his prince's honest and loving eyes, he winces. Those eyes love him so much, his lips comfort him along every way - and yet he's betraying that love just to protect him. Even the goodbye kiss killed his guts. He never once thought that after hearing the truth his lover would leave those bullies alone - I mean, it's only natural to think that after what happened with Shinji. But he never gave his lover the chance for his reaction.

And so, he lets his lover leave without ever seeing that reaction that day.

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please comment! :D**

**Omake: **

**Miki: *_* No words?**

**Me: Oi, you died of happiness from too many words in "Samurai's mission" - I gave you a full Miki perspective chapter!**

**Shinobu: And yet you never gave me one of those. -_- I only get your fucking narrating. **

**Me: *GASP* Oi, don't swear in the omake!**

**Shinobu: That's the only thing you're worried about!?**

**Me: Yes. :)**

**Shinobu: I need a full chapter where I narrate - even that Kamijou got a oneshot like that!**

**Me: Oh, the puppy story? Why do you want to narrate? You'll have to describe pervvy scenes, you know that right?**

**Shinobu: *blushes violently* A-aH, UM, I CAN DO THAT!**

**Me: O_O Try reading this: "He held me close to his naked broad chest, his hands squeezing my arse tenderly"**

**Shinobu: H-H-Hee... held me... *explodes* **


	7. Kill

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Sekaiichi Hatsukoi~ (I own Wataru and Miki, though)**

**Author's notes: Sorry for the delay - hope I'll get on track again - enjoy! **

Another week zoomed by - neither of them touching the subject and slowly they return to their normal routine (which was going on a small date and then to either a love hotel or Kisa's house). Wataru kept his promise and revealed nothing while Yukina dropped it. However, Kisa made one tiny mistake - he never let go of it. How could he ever let go of stuff horrible memories that seem to be embedded into his skin. The truth was still inside him no matter how many small lies he had to give along the way - it was in his veins, his brain, his heart - in his thoughts, eating away at him.

And so, like any other person in this situation, he's bound to crack.

The heavy question that was laid in his heart was - when? When will he scream out all his pain, let it all go for once? All the poking and prodding left some holes in the seal - surely he'll open up now to Yukina.

But he doesn't know when he'll do it - during a date, during lunch - _oh, god, not during sex, right?_

* * *

"I'll tell him," Kisa declares as he stares gravely at Shinobu.

They're on the roof during lunch. The soft wind plays with everyone's hair, making them feel light as a feather. This type of weather calms the raven - he's picked the best time to realize his mistake was lying so many times.

"When?" Miki walks beside Kisa, asking the one question that makes the raven glare.

"I... don't know," the raven mutters.

"Eh? You should at least plan it! Think of TOP!" Miki exclaims, surprised.

The blonde raises a brow at his friend. "TOP? You mean T.P.O.?"

"AH! Y-you know about it too?!" The blue-eyed boy is strangely shocked.

"Why can't I know about it...? Anyway, Shouta, it's all about 'Time', 'Place', and 'Occasion'," the blonde explains. "You have to know what time you're going to tell him, what place, and you don't really need occasion in this case."

"What place...?" Kisa hadn't even thought of this.

"Hmm.. it's still spring, so a park with Sakura trees, okay?" Miki butts in before Shinobu can open his mouth.

"Isn't that too corny?" Shinobu scowls. "How about... some place intimate where you won't be embarrassed to tell everything? Like, your room or something?"

"M-my room?" Kisa stutters.

"But underneath the shade of Sakura trees, you'll be relaxed and easily tell him," the blue-eyed boy defends his place.

"What about the bugs? ...A-and people might walk by if you're hugging!" The blonde points out.

Clearly Miki had lost - he never thought about the rush of other couples wanting to enjoy the view under the soft, pink petals of cherry blossom trees. After Kisa picks his room, his friends keep giving him advice and support - telling him it's great that he's finally telling his lover, but also making sure he's comfortable with the idea of doing so.

"Do you think... he'll beat up those guys, then?" Miki asks awkwardly as lunch is about to finish.

Shinobu and Kisa both stop their steps that were reaching the door to the school. Suddenly a huge gust of wind hit their faces and the silence remained there. Kisa wanted so bad to say, 'no, he won't', but he doesn't know. He knows he won't feel any sense of justice or pleasure in getting revenge on those four idiots - he knows that because he doesn't care about them. He once wished them dead, but now that hatred has died down into just those horrible memories that he wishes to erase.

"Who knows...," Kisa whispers and then moves on.

Although Miki and Shinobu are worried about that uncertainty, they respect Kisa's decision to tell Yukina.

* * *

Big brown eyes stare at Kisa, waiting for him to say something. It's like a normal day - the raven asked his lover to come to his house since his parents are away again, they both sit on the bed, but the raven says the most dramatic statement in the world, 'I have something to tell you'. Not that Yukina, that prince-like youth, is worried about getting dumped, but he is surprised and somewhat curious as to what Kisa will tell him.

Stiff.

Kisa looks dead stiff and he's beginning to sweat.

"Um... I... ... Remember I said a week ago that I wanted to p-protect you, right?" He starts simple.

Yukina nods slowly - this was the thing upsetting Kisa, so of course he remembers it.

"Well...,"_ shit, I don't want to continue_. "I... don't want you to hurt others."

"Hmm? Why would I hurt others?" His prince looks worried now.

Hands held together now, the handsome youth squeezes his lover's hands. He leans closer to get a better look at Kisa's dark eyes that are shying away from him.

"Come on, tell me - why would I hurt others? ... And who are these 'others'?" Yukina poked his questions in lightly, not wanting to break the shell around Kisa completely, but make a small hole - so small that Kisa won't notice it.

But obviously those questions hit the mark and the raven moved back, letting go of Kisa's hands.

"... Those others... are my bullies," Kisa sighs and he knows he can't say anymore - he's reached his limit for today. His heart feels like it's pumping faster than ever - in an unhealthy way - while the sweat has drenched the back of his cotton blue shirt.

The raven looks down, not even wanting to see his lover's reaction.

"You... don't want me to hurt your bullies? Wait, are they still bullying you!?" Yukina finally raises his voice, frightened at the thought he's been missing such a big part of Kisa's life. He's his lover - HE should be protecting him!

"NO! N-not anymore... but I lied before, Yukina... there were four bullies," the raven admits his lie, shuddering as he remembers each of their faces in that dark room.

His dark eyes dare to look up and he sees Yukina frowning.

"You lied? Why? Does the number matter?" His lover asks innocently.

Kisa has yet to clarify to his lover exactly what kind of 'cruel acts' his bullies inflicted on him.

"Please... this is enough for today - my head hurts," Kisa places his hands on his lover's chest, wanting comfort immediately.

"Eh..? Oh, okay... do you need water?" Yukina asks, noticing Kisa's heavy breathing.

When the raven nods, his lover goes downstairs (he can practically walk blindfolded in this house and not hit a single object, he's that used to it) to get him water. While Yukina is gone, the raven tries to even out his breaths. _See? Baby steps..._ even this is too fast for him. He doesn't ever want to confess everything wholly, but he knows he has to... and it's not that he doesn't truth Yukina - he trusts his lover with his life - but he knows someone is going to get hurt after this. Knowing how his lover fights, it's definitely his bullies getting beaten here.

As he settles into his bed more, letting his eyes rest, his cellphone begins to ring.

He sighs. He just calmed down. Picking up the phone, he scowls as he hears Miki's obnoxiously loud voice - his friend must be on the train or a party because the clamor around him made him speak louder.

"Oi, Shouta, are you thinking about telling Yukina anytime soon?" Miki asks, curious.

Kisa glares at his feet. How can his friend ask such a question at the worst time?!

"... Not yet... I've only told him about the bullies - he doesn't know what they've done...," Kisa explains, frowning just thinking about how awful it'll be when he actually does spill out everything.

"EH!? T-That's great! I mean, you've started telling him - that's a great start!" His friend explodes.

The raven smiles. It was a good start compared to just lying to him...

"Yeah... but I'm still scared he'll beat up the guys... since you know what they've done... Yukina might even k-kill them," Kisa gulps. He's said it - the words he wanted to deny but were always swirling around in his head. Kill - death - destroy.

"Nah, he wouldn't go that far - just be honest with him, okay?" Miki says and then hangs up.

Kisa stares at the dead line and shrugs.

"Kill them?" A voice abruptly asks him and he flinches. "Kill who?" Yukina continues.

Placing Kisa's glass of water on a side table, his handsome prince walks towards him and sits gently on the sofa - never looking away from Kisa's dark and scared eyes. He looks like a rabbit that's been seen by someone, looking alert now.

"Shouta-san... you think I'll kill someone?" The dazzling youth asks, this time more desperately. Killing someone isn't a joking matter and the fact that his lover even put that on the table is just... offensive for Yukina.

"...," Kisa is too shamefaced to speak.

"Why... do you think I'll kill someone?" Yukina grabs Kisa's shoulders now, pissed off a bit.

Looking away, the raven can't seem to hide his tears. His lover's cracking voice hurts him... but he can't admit that Yukina could kill if he knew what the bullies did.

"Tell me, Shouta-san! Why do you think I'll kill someone!? Do I look like a killer?!" He shouts and that does it - Kisa snaps.

"FINE, I'LL TELL YOU! You know why I'm so dead-set on not telling you!? Because you'll kill those bastards as soon as you find out what they've done! T-They... aren't normal bullies that kick or beat someone - they're those sick bastards that... rape people!" He yells all at once, speaking really fast.

There's a moment of silence where the gears in Yukina's brain are connecting the dots - the hotel guy's words making sense - and suddenly he glares at Kisa. With a look of cold steel, Kisa knows that he's set off the fuse. Killing seems too easy for Yukina and too immoral... he knows another and more painful revenge.

"... They did that to you...?" Yukina whispers softly, looking down.

Salty water runs down Kisa's cheek as he nods, his hands squeezing the crap out of Yukina's warm hand.

Yukina doesn't say anything else after that and envelopes his lover in a loving embrace.

Although Kisa falls asleep peacefully on Yukina's chest, Yukina stays awake planning his revenge.

* * *

"Wataru, don't lie to me - tell me their names - the ones that bullied Shouta-san," Yukina demands his friend immediately with these questions.

"Er... what? Does... Kisa know you're asking me this?" Wataru looks at his friend with questioning eyes.

"Just tell me their names," as he asks, his eyes become cold.

"I can't... I don't even remember their names," his friend crosses his arms.

Yukina gives a long stare at his friend's face. "Hope you're not lying."

"Why would I lie to you?" Wataru gives a blank stare back.

Yukina frowns. "Shouta-san... might do something like that... you know, to stop me from... talking to those bullies."

"You seem to know him well. He did tell me not to tell you anything," his friend smiles. "But, I'm not telling you because I know... you're going to get in trouble."

"Trouble?! Don't worry about me! Just tell me their names!" Yukina glares at Wataru.

"Yes, trouble - as in you beating up someone and your scholarship being cancelled kind of trouble," Wataru smacks his hands on Yukina's desk for emphasis.

"... Sheesh, why does everyone think I'll beat them up?" The light brunette prince sighs.

From the look Wataru's giving him, he frowns. "Fine, so I beat Shinji - he fully deserved it."

"And you think those guys do too, don't you?"

Yukina doesn't say anything to that.

"Give me the names and I promise you I won't touch a hair on their heads," Yukina vows, staring straight into Wataru's eyes with confidence.

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please comment! :) Thanks for commenting so far, too - I feel like comments are my life support for writing. XD**


	8. Names

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (But I own Wataru)**

**Author's notes: The Hatori mentioned in this chapter is not the one from Sekaiichi - it's the only name I could think of at the time and then I realized that it was also his name. *_* Stupid brain, that's why it was the only name I could think of! XD Anyway, from now on it's going to be less of Shinobu and Miki, and more Wataru and Yukina time (Kisa is always going to be here :3) *btw, more then 2k! (2,642 words) **

**Enjoy! **

No one was willing to help Yukina at all. Wataru kept his fucking mouth shut the whole day the brunette attempted to pester him with his persuasion and even threats and none of his other classmates knew shit about Nishino middle school students. Being the popular student he was, he tried to visit other classrooms and ask around, but without the whole 'terrible four' clue, no names would be supplied. Instead of the terrible four, some students would give names of their own personal bullies or cliques that consisted of four people.

Writing down the names given so far, Yukina throws the paper at Wataru's face.

"Tell me if any of those names match to Shouta-san's bullies," he commands, knitting his brows as he crosses his arms.

It was his precious lunchtime and he was wasting it with Wataru just to confirm names (which he knows Kisa would never do for him) and it was annoying him so much that he couldn't help but frown.

"Oi... what do you plan on doing to the guys? Wataru asks in a low voice. His eyes were busy scanning the sheet with names, but his eyes were curious to listen to Yukina's plan.

"Plan? Why do you need to know?" Yukina grumbles. Seriously, worst mood ever this week and he feels like it's going to get worse.

He's internally praying that he won't beat the crap out of the bullies. One can only hope.

"Well... like I said before, I don't want you to get in trouble - so please keep your plan rated PG," his friend shudders. He can't stand violence, especially when it comes to fist-fights - blood, gore, and bone-cracking things are his main pet-peeves.

"PG? What about my swearing? Wouldn't it make it PG-13?" The brunette attempts to be a smartass, feeling better to let some of his tension out.

"Fine, just don't beat them to pulp, got it?" Wataru gives his friend a meaningful look.

Yukina sighs. He fucking beat up one guy and now his friends all think he's a freaking murderer or something.

"Like I said before, I won't touch a single hair on their heads!" He reminds him, scowling.

"... None of these are the bullies - And I'm not lying, so don't pester these poor people," his friend hands back the list and stretches.

"Seriously!?" Yukina glares at the paper and shreds it into tiny pieces in anger.

"Yeah... amazing how you wasted all your free time on that," Wataru smirks to a dark glare coming from the handsome prince.

"My free time...," he sighs as he thinks of Kisa's smile.

"Ah, but really, you should give up on whatever avenge plan you're thinking of. Think about it, middle school for Kisa wasn't half a year ago like for us - for him it was 3 years ago. He's probably forgotten about it," his friend shrugs lightly.

Brown eyes instantly dart at him. "He hasn't forgotten about them... and he probably never will. Wataru, this would be really easy on me if you just gave me those names."

For one second, Wataru almost wants to give in and hand over the names (first and last names - maybe even middle names if his memory serves him right), but he doesn't do that. Something about Yukina's steely eyes scared Wataru in way that has never happened before - it's like some snake is plotting to snap and him and he just doesn't know when.

"I'm... sorry, but I don't remember their names that well," Wataru lies, shrugging.

Yukina sighs. "Same excuse as this morning, eh? Dammit."

* * *

"He didn't come," is what Miki tells Kisa like Captain Obvious at the end of lunch.

"I know," Kisa sulks into his seat, slouching.

Miki leans over towards the raven. "Don't worry, maybe he was busy - I heard from a few sources that he's been going around different classes all day."

This irks Kisa even more. If he's so busy hanging out with other people, couldn't he at least visit his boyfriend?!

"Don't tell me anything else," the raven scowls - afraid he'll snap if he hears more.

"Eh? But I forgot to tell you the main part - he's been asking around for the name of your bullies!" Miki exclaims.

Receiving a powerful glare from the raven, Miki doesn't say anything after that.

_Names? He really doesn't give up... Why... is he so hung up on avenging me?_ Kisa sighs as he thinks about the time with Shinji. He actually feels horrible about the whole incident now. Shinji didn't deserve the whole 'getting beat up' thing at all - he just needed time to cope with the concept Kisa wouldn't be with him anymore. The raven now understands that and sees that what Yukina did... was probably just for his own sense of pride - the pride of protecting his lover. Or so that's what Kisa is guessing for now. Why else would someone be so dead set on avenging for someone else? Sure, they're lovers, but one's past is their own - why does Yukina think he can easily deal with Kisa's past?

Kisa glares at his pencil now. He deeply wishes that Yukina will magically give up on trying to uncover Kisa's horrible past.

* * *

"Oi, Wataru, why's Yukina asking around for names of bullies?" A random classmate asks Wataru in 6th period.

The boy shrugs. "Why don't you just ask him?" He grumbles.

At this time Yukina is at the edge of the door coming from the restroom and is about to come in, but the classmate continues talking, so he stops there.

"I don't want to... because I think I know who he's looking for - your older brother, right?" He says.

Yukina's heart stops as a tremor is sent through his body, electrifying it._ B-b-brother...!?_ Instead of jumping with an exclamation in front of them, he stays hidden and merely listens to them.

"Hey, don't call him that! He's my step-brother - we're not even related. Cripes, I'd hate myself if I shared the same dirty blood as him," Wataru cringes.

"Dirty? Good point... But what I'm curious about is why you're not telling him anything. If you hate Hatori that bad, then why don't you just tell Yukina about him?" The classmate offers, giving him a questioning look.

_Hatori...? What's Wataru's last name again...!?_ For the first time in seven years, Yukina finally realizes he doesn't know his best friend's last name - they only stuck to first names and he sort of overlooked Wataru's weird long name because it was always hard to pronounce.

"Che, I won't tell him any of their names. He'll definitely get into some trouble - even his... even Kisa-senpai is worried about him," Wataru replies with a large frown. He almost said 'even his boyfriend' so naturally it's scary.

"Why would he get in trouble...? Does he... want to fight with them or something?"

"Probably... he keeps telling me that he won't, but I think he will," the brunette sighs.

The classmate laughs. "Well, make sure he doesn't lose his scholarship - that's the only thing that's keeping him here."

"Wish he'd be concerned about it as much as I am," Wataru scowls. Luckily he didn't get caught beating up Shinji, but that doesn't mean he'll get lucky again this time.

Yukina finally makes his entrance with a dazzling, fake smile.

"Concerned about what?" He asks, joining in.

"About your bloody scholarship," his best friend admits honestly, as if there's nothing to hide.

Wataru's smart to be confident... but it's too bad Yukina heard the truth about his brother. Now all he needs is Wataru's last name - something so simple it's not even worth thinking about.

* * *

Right in front of Wataru's house, the brunette feels a bit awkward being here without his friend. If one of Kisa's bully is here, then he'll need to come with a plan soon because so far he's been trying to get murderous intentions out of his head, which has been unsuccessful so far. In this familiar setting, he's confused about how he's never met this 'step-brother' of his. He vaguely had an idea that Wataru's parents were divorced and he had a new elder sibling, but he didn't probe that much - and during the time of the divorce, it would've been hurtful to poke his nose into someone else's business. But now, he's going to meet him... if he's still living here.

_He **is**... living here, right?_ He wonders as he rings the annoying tone that he knows is echoing in Wataru's house right now.

The door opens and as usual Wataru's dad comes out.

"Oh, Yukina! How're you these days?" But before he can answer, he continues with, "Where's Wataru?"

"Oh, um... he forgot something in his room and he thought I could get it for him," Yukina lies with a smile.

The old man shrugs and lets him in, continuing to chat with him as they enter the house. It takes Yukina a couple of minutes to get away from Wataru's father. When he does get away, he's unsure where to head. He knows most of the rooms in the house - he's had many sleepovers as a kid too... then where is his step-brother?

_Ah_, he thinks,_ the basement_.

Yukina finally remembers Hatori as if some awful childhood memory is being revealed for the first time in a very long while. Summer of fifth grade when Wataru and Yukina had their first sleepover: Yukina was new to the house and they both spent time playing in each room with their cars and guns - the usual toys. But then, it happened - he accidentally ventured forth into the basement. A curious little Yukina went down the dark stairs with his tiny hands squeezing the gun in his hand, prepared to fight any demon or ghost. Any seventh grader would love to torment such a kid - Hatori was no exception. He jumped in front of the cute fifth grader with an Halloween mask on of a goblin - scared the crap out of Yukina to the point he peed himself.

That explains why he doesn't want to remember Hatori.

And why he doesn't go to the basement.

But now, in all seriousness, Yukina glares at anything and everything as he goes downstairs. He hates how even more murderous thoughts are entering his mind, as if none of his efforts were enough - as if he's really going to act on some of them. A simple pencil can stab him... to death or near-death, just to make him feel what Kisa might've felt... His fists tighten as he remembers Kisa calling himself dirty. It made sense now why Kisa never believed Yukina when the man professed his love - how could Kisa ever believe in such goodness when he'd been spoiled by blood and violence?

Yukina doesn't know the details, but he does know that his lover has felt pain, trauma, and humiliation.

Calling it pain is an understatement, actually.

Gritting his teeth, he hisses. "Hatori, are you there?"

The lights were on and he sees a figure sitting on some sofa-type seat.

"Hmmm?" Two figures.

Hatori is making out with some girl with long blonde hair. He looks up briefly and then pulls away from the kiss. The girl complains a bit, but at least Yukina didn't come fifteen minutes later.

"Oh... are you Yukina... right?" Hatori probably has seen Yukina come and go in the household.

From just hearing a drunken slur coming from Hatori's voice, Yukina wants to bash his head.

So. Freaking. Hard.

"Yes, I'm Yukina... um, could I have a word with you?" He asks, looking expectantly at the blonde to leave.

The dark-haired boy whispers to his lover to go upstairs for now - he'll call her back down soon. He can tell by Yukina's tone that this 'word' might take some time. She gets up slowly from the sofa and purposely leans closer to Yukina as she goes upstairs.

"My name's Mina~," she dares to mention before heading up.

"Great, she's unfaithful already," Hatori mocks to himself as he begins to light a cigarette. The plain, pathetic guy looks even more pathetic with a cigarette at his thin lips and the yellow light didn't make him look any less pathetic. "So, what'd you wanna talk about with me?"

Yukina sighs. He's been sighing every thirty seconds (some loud sighs, some quiet ones) because he knows that if he doesn't, he'll probably explode one way or another.

"Do you... know of Kisa Shouta?" Yukina looks at him straight in his eyes.

Hatori's eyes flicker up with a curious look. "What 'bout him?"

It takes Yukina all his strength to stay in his place. He knows he could so easily snap that fucking neck of his, but that's not what people do, right? Ethically and morally, that's wrong for him so he controls himself. He just couldn't control his fists from tightening even more and all his muscles pumping for action.

"... Do you know his classmates? Or any friends of his?" He tries the 'name' trick again. He needs the other 3 bullies.

"Ha! Friends! He didn't have any... Why do you care? Isn't he... older than you guys?" Hatori blows smoke out, trying to look cool.

"He is... How did you know Kisa Shouta?" Yukina crosses his arms. Anything that keeps his hands tangled and unable to quickly smack the living shits out of Hatori.

"Who didn't know him? He was an art genius - still is, I bet. He could paint anything he set his mind to...," the boy seems to trail off as he smoked more.

"And you said he didn't have friends? Why?"

Taking in a long smoke, Hatori deliberates answering. "You know... as much as I would love telling you how much of an anti-social freak he was, tell me why you're so curious about him all of a sudden. We've never talked much, so why now? ... Unless... you know something?"

Each ugly word spoken makes Yukina wish he was born a millionaire - that way he'd never have to worry about his scholarship and he could easily punch this rude guy in the face! However, Yukina isn't the type of person to admit his intentions before he's even thought of a plan. He knows he can't harm them physically and there's no way to do it emotionally... that only leaves out socially.

He's going to socially ruin their lives.

His mind throbs as he quickly finds something to say, something that'll dismiss this topic.

"K-know what? I just came here to ask because Wataru wanted to know. Sheesh, if I knew he was... a-anti-social... guy, then I wouldn't have asked. I'm going then!" He tries to pour all his light words in there - to show that he's just another careless, stupid teenager.

By the look Hatori's giving him, he clearly passed the test.

As he ascends the stairs, an evil grin crosses his face.

The convenient blonde was his first target... and the easiest one

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please leave a comment! :D**

**Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for the many comments for this fanfic, even though I update this the less (like literally, even the amount of words in each chapter are less than the other fanfics I've been updating...). ^^ Also, thanks for supporting me even when I take excessively long breaks. XD**


	9. Stalking

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or Junjou Romantica! (I own Wataru and Takashi)**

**Author's notes: Sorry for the long delay - I will finish this soon (2,400k words) **

**Enjoy! **

"Ne, Mina-san... do you always hang around Hatori...? Don't you get... bored around him?" Yukina asks the beautiful blonde in front of him - _cough, beautiful fake blonde, cough._

"Hmm... I do, he hangs with his friends more than he does with me, though," she complains.

_Wow, this is too easy. _

_Way too easy._

"Friends, hmm? I bet I know some... do you remember their names?" He feels like everything is about to be gifted in his hands, but the girl frowns.

"Che, he hasn't even introduced me to them... he's been such a crappy boyfriend... But I bet you'd be kinder to me... wouldn't you?" The clever woman places a slim hand on Yukina's - looking up with her brightest brown eyes.

"Sorry... but I'm taken - it was nice talking to you, though," the prince gives her a mediocre smile and leaves.

Even though he's disappointed his cool plan on getting all the names from this girl failed, he managed to find one of them. And honestly, for one day this was a great improvement compared to just asking bunch of people for their childhood bullies. Although Yukina goes home that day, giving up, he still has a whole week before him to stalk Hatori and follow to wherever he and his friends hang out.

He's assuming here that they actually leave to a secret hang out or something.

* * *

"Shouta-san, how do you stalk someone?" Yukina asks his lover at lunch the next day. They're sitting on the roof - somehow their presence has shooed away both Shinobu and Miki, so they're enjoying the wind alone up there.

Kisa stiffens by this random question. Since he stalked Yukina before they became lovers, this is a bit awkward for him to answer.

"Er... um, you follow someone... and keep looking at them, I guess," the raven mutters really fast.

"Yeah, but how? Like, from far away or close up? And how close is close enough?" His handsome prince immediately gets close to him, almost eye-to-eye and then leans back for emphasis.

"Uh, um... Medium length?" Kisa raises a brow.

"Aha, genius! Should I wear black clothes or is that too much?" Yukina puts a hand on his chin, pondering the idea of looking like a stealthy ninja.

"I don't know... Oi, who're you stalking?" The raven finally asks the question that is making his heart nervous. _Please don't stalk someone you like... because I should be the only person you like. _

"Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. You know my friend Wataru, right? [Kisa nods here] Well, his older step-brother is, erm... a bad person, so I'm going to stalk him so that he doesn't do bad things anymore," his lover puts it in simple words and purposefully leaves out the word 'bully'.

"How will he stop doing bad things if you're just stalking him? And what bad things? Does he do illegal drugs or something?" Kisa asks, endlessly spouting more questions.

"Oi, no, not drugs... or maybe," Yukina contemplates this notion as he remembers the odd smell around Hatori.

"Eh!? Oi, Yukina, don't get into trouble with someone like him! W-what happens if he sees you?!" The raven frowns, worried.

"Don't worry, Shouta-san, I'll wear a mask," his lover smiles, assuming that dazzling him with his perfect teeth will make Kisa forget the negative sides to this stalking event.

"OI! D-don't mess with that guy if he's bad! What if he sends people to beat you or something!?" Kisa points out.

"Then... I'll call the police and tell them about his drug problem," Yukina smiles once more, wishing the raven would just fall for the smile as usual.

"Like I said: Don't stalk such a person! In fact, it would make life easier for me if you didn't stalk anyone!" Kisa huffs as he gets up, annoyed now.

Noticing that, Yukina also gets up, concerned.

"Shouta-san... I'm... trying to find your bullies... -," before he says one more word, Kisa's head turns over, their eyes meeting like lightning.

"Bullies...?" Kisa glares with teary eyes. His pulse is slowly increasing, just thinking of that word - bullies.

"I know you told me not to hurt them... so I won't, but I will find them," Yukina continues softly, as if he's breaking the news to a two-year old that his parents died.

"Why? Why would you do that? Are you... thinking about avenging me?" The raven takes one cautious step away, but his prince erases that distance with one powerful step.

"Is that so wrong to do...?" His lover gazes with sad eyes.

"Yes, it is... I'm over them... as long as you stay by my side - as long as you're with me, I'm happy and I won't ever remember them - just don't avenge me," Kisa begs, his hands grasping Yukina's shirt, wanting to force the idea of no vengeance into his lover's mind.

"But I won't be happy, Shouta-san, if those guys live peacefully... I won't be happy knowing that they're not suffering for what they've done," Yukina's gaze instantly turns to steel as he speaks.

Kisa doesn't say anything to that at first. The statement made him want to yell, 'you don't even know what they've done!'. He knows too well that telling his lover in detail of the horrors would be the worst thing to do, especially since he's geared towards vengeance.

"... Yukina, no, Kou... please don't do that. You're... not that type of person...," Kisa whispers, clinging onto his shirt now, his fingers gripping so hard that Yukina feels like his shirt will tear any second now.

"What do you mean..? I-I won't beat them up, Shouta-san, - I just want to show them that their sins will not be forgiven, -," he's interrupted.

"Sins? Do you think they still remember? Do you think they still care?! Forget about them, please!" The raven yells, his eyes still deeply staring into Yukina's brown ones.

"No, Shouta-san, because they deserve..!" Yukina stops as Kisa pushes him.

"I knew it! You were going to say 'they deserve to die', weren't you?" Kisa frowns.

"Yes, because they do, but I won't kill them - I'll be kinder than that - I'll just teach them a good lesson -," once again, he's interrupted immediately.

"Kind? You call that kindness? You're planning on making them suffer - isn't that cruel?"

"And what _they_ did to you isn't?" His lover remarks, making the raven squirm.

Kisa begins walking away, not able to deal with this any longer. All the things just go in a circle... and he knows that Yukina will get vengeance one way or another.

"Oi, Shouta-san, don't leave yet! We need to talk about this!" Yukina calls out, desperate.

"No! I... don't want vengeance and you want it - it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how this ends!" Kisa retorts sarcastically and walks back into the school, stomping a bit in his anger.

Catching that last sentence, the prince winces. He knows exactly how it'll end... but for him that end is satisfactory. He just doesn't get why Kisa won't find it like that too.

* * *

Stalking Hatori is surprisingly easy. Not much to do but stand in the corner of a street and watch whoever enters his house. He hides when Wataru comes down the street, but other than that, nothing is hard. Only one friend comes to his house though and it's Wataru's old friend from middle school. No one leaves the house and no ones enters it besides that one friend. Since all the bullies in the Terrible Four were of the same age, he knows not to suspect Wataru's friend. In the end of the stalking day 1, Yukina feels like he wasted a date day.

He sighs. He was impatient and getting no results was annoying.

Day 2 of stalking:

Still no one. _Why isn't anyone entering the house?!_ It irritated him how only Wataru and his dad seemed to be going places while that crackhead stayed indoors. Although Yukina began doubting that Hatori was even inside the house, he saw the guy from the window, so technically he stayed indoors all that time.

All in all, a very boring and wasted day - plus, Kisa has started to ignore him during lunch, which is never a good sign.

Day 3 of stalking:

_Fuck, fuck, fuck - why does he stay inside all day?!_ Yukina is tempted to skip school now, just to see if the damn idiot even leaves his house at all! He knows that his love relationship is in trouble right now, but he's desperate to find the other bullies.

And so, on day four, that's exactly what he does.

"Wataru, wanna skip with me?" He asks his friend as he stands in front of his house - by now he's told his friend about his stalking expenditures.

"No thanks - I care about my grades," Wataru sighs. He's also against the stalking matter.

"Fine, but you do know I'm going to catch your step-brother, right?" Yukina crosses his arms.

"Yeah, yeah. He deserves it, so I don't mind," his friend shrugs.

"Then... wish me luck," the tall brunette gives a hopeful smile. He just feels like today's the day something good will happen.

And it does; he finds out that there's another exit on Wataru's house - a side exit from the basement with stairs. All this time he was stalking from the wrong angle. Thankfully Yukina's mode of thinking is being positive, so he was just grateful he finally found out why there was no action. So, in the morning, he keeps his eyes on the back door. His eyes flicker with excitement as the door does open and Hatori walks out with a black hoodie - the most typical sweatshirt in the world. Yukina follows him with a few blocks distance. The thing about stalking was that his heart was beating in a 'fuck, I'm scared' kind of way, so it made his stalking more suspicious. Since he's never had this feeling before, he makes sure to stay far enough - so far that Hatori is barely in sight.

However, the distance is bound to narrow - when they enter the city, Yukina comes closer. It's horribly hard to see the black hoodie through all the other black hoodies. Yukina somehow follows him through the crowds and different streets until finally Hatori enters a club - the emptiest and saddest drink-hole in the world. Then again, who drinks at 8 in the morning?

Clearly Hatori.

Yukina wheedles his way out of getting asked for an ID, so he enters without a problem. It wasn't hard to find Hatori in the empty club. He sat right next to the bartender, drinking a large glass of beer already.

And that's all he did - he never spoke a word, just drank. Yukina realized at the end that he had just wasted another day. Another awesome date day he could've had with his lover.

Wasted.

He followed Hatori home, even.

Wasted.

When he checks his phone that night, he finds that he has 30 texts from Kisa - all asking about where he is and what is he doing.

"What... am I doing?" Yukina asks himself in the cold night.

Day 5 of stalking:

He found guy #2. The bartender - his name was Takashi. He and Hatori were friends and that's why every morning Hatori would go there to meet him. They didn't talk much, which freaked Yukina out. Friends talk to each other, right? And most drunks complain...? Seeing the silent duo, it irked Yukina that even though he was this close, he couldn't find anything new.

The sad thing is, the only reason he knows Takashi's name is because that's what Hatori called him when he asked for a beer.

Day 6 of stalking:

"Yukina!" Kisa yells at him with a large scowl - waiting for him in front of his house before the boy could start stalking.

"S-Shouta-san...," Yukina gasps, not expecting this.

"Don't call me that! You... What have you been doing these days? Are you really still stalking my bully?" The raven glares at his lover.

"Did... you hear that from Wataru?" The prince sighs. Shit, Wataru tells him everything!

"Yeah, because someone tells me the truth," Kisa pouts.

Yukina winces. "I would've told you... but you wouldn't want to hear any of it."

"I would still like the gesture!" The raven shouts.

"Fine, let me tell you - I've found two of your bullies - Takashi and Hatori. I think they're doing drugs, but they seem like normal people so far," Yukina explains to him. "I've been following Hatori and he led me to Takashi. I still need to find the other two."

"T-Takashi..? So you really found them, huh?" Kisa mutters slowly.

"Yes... and I'm going to ruin their lives, whether you like it or not," the tall brunette confesses.

"... Please don't. It's... not worth it, Yukina."

"For you, Kisa, it's worth it - I'm doing all this for you," Yukina gently grabs his lover's shoulders.

Turning his head away, the raven ignores his words.

"Then don't - I don't need you to do this," Kisa murmurs. "Because...," he gulps, "... I'm not your boyfriend anymore."

Yukina's eyes widen at the cold words. "W-what? Why?"

With teary eyes Kisa looks up at Yukina. "As long as you're doing this, we're not dating, okay? Come back to me... when you stop doing this."

Wriggling out of Yukina's gentle hold, Kisa begins to walk away. Yukina is too shell-shocked to respond immediately, so when Kisa is a couple steps away, the brunette calls out to him.

"Shouta-san! I-I'll come to you when I avenge you! I'll come back to you!" He shouts, making his feelings clear.

He only sees his lover shrug and walk on.

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please leave a comment! :D I hope you guys liked it. **


	10. Vengeance is sweet?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or Sekaiichi Hatsukoi! (but I own Miki, Wataru, and Takashi)**

**Author's note: Another chapter in the same week! Le gasp! I'm somewhat back on track - somewhat - will be ending this in the next chapter! WOOOOOT!**

**Enjoy!~ **

"Miiiiiki, I broke up with him!" Kisa cries during lunch, going straight to hug Miki.

Shinobu looks up, surprised. "W-why would you do that?! When?!"

"T-this morning," the raven pouts, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Miki tries his best to soothe the raven with his hug, but clearly it didn't help Kisa much.

"But why?" The blue-eyed boy asks.

"... He's finding my bullies to avenge me," Kisa mutters, almost as if he's sulking.

Miki and Shinobu raise their brows.

"And you don't want that?!" Miki exclaim, beating Shinobu to the punch.

"No... I just want to date him... like a normal person," the raven complains.

"Well, you'll do that... after he avenges them," Shinobu mumbles and then looks away. "I don't know why you don't like him doing that."

Kisa sighs. This is why he didn't want to tell his friends about all the 'vengeance' deal with Yukina because both Miki and Shinobu like the notion. Why doesn't anyone understand Kisa? He just doesn't want to drudge up these unwanted memories! What good would it do to torture them now? When they really deserved it... that time is gone. If only he could take back that horrid event... if only he could stop them from ever doing it, then Kisa would be happy. But getting petty revenge now is nothing.

So why don't they understand?

"I just... don't like it," Kisa says, hoping they'll stop asking, even though this is usually where the conversation ends.

Clearly not today.

Miki looks straight into his eyes. "I would like if Kiyo-Kiyo cared about my past enough to avenge me. In fact, I had this one bully who'd throw his lunch at me and call me a fag all the time - now he deserves instant karma."

"...," the raven doesn't know what to say.

Shinobu merely looks down. He was there when all that stuff used to happen... but even he couldn't do much about it. He did stand up for Miki, but that didn't stop them from whispering behind his friend's back or bullying him when he's all alone. In the end, the bully was persistent in bothering Miki enough that he almost transferred schools.

Almost.

"... Oh, come on, think of what school he goes to - I think that's karma enough!" Shinobu slaps his friend's back, trying to bring life back into the conversation.

"I'm just saying, sometimes people deserve vengeance," Miki grumbles, still looking at Kisa's dark eyes.

"... But what if I don't want it? Then what?" Kisa frowns.

"You... don't want to see them suffer?" His blue-eyed friend gawks.

The raven shakes his head.

"That's a lie, Shouta - a complete lie. If I had my bully in front of me now, I wouldn't mind hitting him a few hard punches - I think it's natural to feel like that. You don't have to hide it from us, the hate and anger," Miki tells him, holding his fists up as if he's boxing.

"Hate? No... I don't hate them... And my anger died long time ago... All I feel is.. shame - shame for being there, shame for being tricked... and shame for having done that," Kisa hisses, slowly accelerating his voice - more tears falling and his nose turning a violent shade of red.

Both friends look down, solemn shivers running down their spine as they try to empathize with Kisa. Miki can't help but hug the poor raven again, feeling horrible for making him say what he just did. Maybe they should leave things as they are - and let it all pass slowly, as everything in life does.

* * *

Another school day skipped, Yukina finds nothing the day he and Kisa broke up. Hatori went to the same bar and did nothing. He feels like calling it quits, but there is still hope harboring in his heart. Therefore, the next day, he stalks him once again. Hatori sits in his usual seat and Takashi pours him the same drink.

Yukina yawns as the boy proceeds to drink.

Suddenly, something surprising happens - he gets up and begins to go into a hallway. _Bathroom...?_ Curious, the tall boy follows after him a couple seconds later. If he remembers correctly, the bathroom is near the entrance... so maybe he's finally doing something different?

There are black stairs leading all the way up, but in between there's an open door. Just as he passes the door, he sees a large, red fire extinguisher being aimed at him.

_FUCK!_

Stars.

He literally sees stars as he shuts his eyes to darkness.

* * *

"Oi - get up!" Someone nudges Yukina's leg.

The boy's eyebrows knit together, irritated.

"-up - I said - GET UP!" He hears a loud clash after that's said.

He peeks gently to find that two pairs of tennis shoes are right in front of him. Closing them, he attempts to move his hands a bit and realizes he's been tied to something - feeling a heavy tug on his sweaty wrists. His feet, however, are free and his mouth.

"Shit, did we kill him?" Takashi asks, worried.

"Nah, he's breathing," Hatori's deep voice resonates in the room. "Should we hit him to wake him up?"

"Wouldn't he faint again?"

"Maybe the pain will surprise him," Hatori mutters.

Willing to be brave, Yukina opens his brown eyes. "I'm awake - no need to hit me any more than you already have." Fuck, no wonder his head still hurts. After seeing the red extinguisher in the corner, the pain on his head begins to throb once more.

"Aww, did Yuki-kun get a boo-boo?" His friend's step brother mocks him, pretending to cry.

"Oi, you're over-doing it. Oi, boy, what're you doing here, following Hatori?" Takashi begins, pushing Hatori out of the way.

At this point, Yukina doesn't know who's the leader here, Hatori or Takashi. Also meaning he doesn't know who to offend and who he shouldn't mess with. For now, ruining their friendship might get him somewhere.

"Hatori? I wasn't following him... I was following you, Takashi-san," Yukina stares at the 'leader' - or he's hoping he's right.

"Eh? Him?" The dark-haired man seems offended already.

"What's wrong with him stalking me?" Takashi asks back, getting a bit pissed off.

"Nothing... just that, he's my brother's friend - I mean, step-brother's friend. I just assumed... he's after me," Hatori shrugs lightly.

"Ah, really? Oi, so why me?" His eyes are back on Yukina.

_Shit, that didn't last very long..._ Yukina looks at Hatori.

"Because I wanted a drink... but I'm underage," Yukina lies and wow, it actually works. He can see their faces ease into a nervous laugh.

"Seriously? That's it?! Hahaha, well, we're underage too!" Takashi laughs, surprised.

As Takashi gets close to Yukina to untie him, Hatori stays at his spot.

"Oi... I don't believe you - you... you've been to my house a lot these days," Hatori remains suspicious.

"Well, Wataru _is_ my friend... I visit him a lot," Yukina gives off a 'I'm so innocent' smile.

Works on Takashi like a charm and the boy unties him.

"So, what'do you wanna drink?" Takashi asks him, smiling now while Hatori gives him a glare.

"Hmm... anything that tastes good," the boy says. "But... before that..."

And before he can finish his sentence, Kisa shows up in the room.

Worst scenario imaginable.

Yukina had almost resorted to violence, since they clearly weren't potheads that he could rat out and ruin their lives in jail, the only thing left was beating them up - both were probably weaker than him and couldn't defend themselves, but Kisa just had to come in and ruin it all.

Both boys flinched at first, but Kisa flinched way worse than they did.

"Kisa... Shouta, right?" Hatori gives a crooked smile. "Wow... it's been a while, hasn't it... right Takashi?"

Takashi looks down, though, his face flushed.

"What're you doing here?" Takashi asks loudly, startling Hatori.

Yukina walks over to Kisa. "Shouta-san, let's leave -"

"I-I'm... h-h-here to get t-this guy h-here," Kisa mumbles so quietly that it's nearly heard by Yukina, the person towering beside him.

"Oi, come on, let's go," his prince whispers to him.

"Hmm? I couldn't hear that? Say it again," Hatori tilts his head a bit.

Kisa is looking down at the black carpet with enough strength to make the floor crack and fall down, never daring to look at his rapists. His mind is empty, he's ignoring all the red flashes appearing in his mind - telling him to run, duck and cover, or hide. His head is somewhat throbbing, blood rushing there in panic. Not only that, his heart rate could kill. Sweaty hands begin to tremble and he still can't say a word.

Until Yukina's hand warms his cold one.

Until Yukina's hand gives him a light squeeze, as if transferring life into him.

Until Yukina's hand reminds him that he's safe now - safe to leave, or heck, even speak!

Until Yukina's hand finally gives Kisa enough courage to look the fuck up and say something.

"I... hate you guys..," is what he barely whispers, but this time it's audible.

Hatori scoffs while Takashi looks up - all eyes on Kisa, even Yukina's.

"In m-middle school... I n-never knew... never thought kids .. our age could be like you guys... H-how you guys did that to... m-me... I n-never want to r-r-remember again. So... p-please... let me forget... you too, Yukina... P-p-please... let me forget," Kisa whimpers and then falls to the ground, crying.

Takashi glups. The guilt never dies either...

Hatori looks away, feeling his head hurt as he realizes how much he's wronged someone - enough for them to cry and break down. Usually it must make a bully happy... to see a person this hurt, but sometimes it fills the other person with remorse.

"Fine... We'll forget it ever happened... you forget too...," Hatori huffs, wanting this crying boy to leave - it irks him how his annoying past has showed up to haunt him.

No one expected this, but Takashi slaps the living ships out of Hatori. A double slap, at that! First a straight slap, and then a back-hand slap.

Red cheeks and tears sting on Hatori's face.

"...T-the fuck was that for?!" He yells at his friend.

"For being insensitive," Takashi sighs and then looks at Kisa. He walks towards him, but Yukina immediately stands in front, guarding his lover.

"What?" He glares at the boy.

"I want to apologize," the boy says as he tries to look at Kisa, but the raven is still looking down, tears silently falling.

"Now? After how many years?" Yukina hisses, wanting to punch this guy too.

"I know... Shou- ah, no, Kisa-san... I'm sorry. Hatori and I... should be the ones bowing. We were dumb... and we did stupid things... You have full right to even charge us for our crimes... I'm just... so sorry," Takashi sincerely apologizes, bending down and bowing too.

"Oi, Hatori, you come too!" He hisses as he glares at his friend.

Like a sad puppy, Hatori comes and bows, feeling more ashamed than he's ever felt. Shame washes on both of them as Yukina pulls Kisa up - both of them tower over the two bowing men.

"Kisa-san - we're sorry!" Takashi apologizes once more.

"... I-I'm not going to a-ac-accept that, y-you know?" Kisa glares at the bowing figures. Miki was right - he had this sicking urge to hit them.

"I know, but I'm still going to apologize - we're both going to apologize today," he says as he pinches Hatori's thigh.

"O-ouch! Fuck, fine - I'm sorry!" Hatori apologizes.

Yukina watches the trembling Kisa look at them. Being supportive, he's already had this arms around Kisa the moment he stood up and now he's keeping him close to his body - making sure the raven feels warm - feels better around these jerkwads.

"... Kou... You were right... Vengeance isn't bad...," Kisa thinks as he walks up towards the boys.

Kicks.

Hard kicks.

Tears, mixed with blood.

Kisa wasn't satisfied.

He should've known.

Hatori instantly tried to grab the boy's feet, wanting him to stop, but his hands were brutally stepped on - bruising them until they were blue. Takashi accepted his punishment, feeling that it's better now or in hell - he preferred it now, to let his guilty heart finally rest. There was some blood on Kisa's white tennis shoes, but neither boys suffered major injuries. Not like Kisa was that athletic or strong to harm them (Yukina's kicks would've definitely killed them). After a few minutes, his rage subsided and he began to cry.

Or loudly bawl like a miserable person. Nothing satisfied his hate. Nothing really ended it either...

"Shouta-san... let's go now," Yukina's voice rings in his ears, overcoming the buzzing dead tone in Kisa's mind.

Looking up at the handsome man by his side, Kisa gives a faint smile.

"Y-yes... l-let's get going," the raven whispers lightly.

Holding hands, they leave the bruised up boys.

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please leave a comment~ I hope you guys liked this chapter!**

**Omake:**

**Miki: YES, finally some blood!**

**Me: *sighs* I hate seeing blood. **

**Miki: And yet you always show it in at least every long fanfic... especially 'Lost'. **

**Me: Good point... Hmm, must be psychological. **

**Miki: Or some traumatic memory? *raises a sarcastic eyebrow***

**Me: I hate you, Miki! *runs away crying* **


	11. Restart - back to square 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or Junjou Romantica! (but I own Miki)**

**Author's notes: 2,046words, LAST chapter - I know I didn't end it things with ALL of the 4 bullies, but halfway there is clearly all that Kisa (and I) can take. Anyway, enjoy! **

Inside a love hotel, Yukina comforts a depressed and trembling Kisa. Holding the raven like he's a treasure, Yukina gently plays with his lover's dark hair. They merely sit there, listening to the A/C choke on it's coldness and enjoying the silence. Sensing Kisa's mood, his lover doesn't want to upset him in any way or maybe bother him, so that's why he hasn't spoken for a long time. On Kisa's part, he's just too brain-dead to think anything and too unnerved to speak. The pain didn't disappear, but it got lighter. He... can just forget now, peacefully. Having warm arms around him is quite enough for him - it's keeping him stable or else he'd be crying his eyes out right now. Or heart out, whichever would come out first.

The silence never ends - but that doesn't mean the action does.

After a few more minutes of enjoying his fingers in Kisa's soft hair, Yukina feels his back ache. They way he's sitting is with him on the bed and Kisa in between his legs, leaning back for support - he's basically a human chair right now (not that he doesn't like it), but soon the muscles near his spine begin to complain.

Therefore, slowly (and turtle speed slowly) he grabs Kisa's shoulders and turns him to face him. When he's got his lover turned halfway towards him, without noticing the dazed look Kisa has, Yukina points at the bed to him. He doesn't know if he understands it, but he thinks Kisa is nodding. He somehow moves away from the raven and lays down on the large bed, atop of the sheets. Kisa merely stares at him, his expression dull.

Smiling softly, Yukina grabs his lover's hands. He squeezes the surprisingly cold hands and then holds them against his cheek. A shudder surprises him and it scares Kisa away, taking his hand back. _Ah... he thinks I don't like it?_ Yukina instantly takes back the hand and caresses it delicately once more, showing his affection in the simplest way possible.

Kisa almost pouts, seeing his lover do this. He still thinks they've broken up... but from the look of Yukina's actions, something is wrong... or right?

With cautious movements, Yukina's large fingers linger over Kisa's arms, slowly trailing up from his hand to his arm. Again, turtle speed.

The raven's eyes glint as he catches Yukina leaning closer now, his hands practically pulling on Kisa's arm. Finally, after all the signs have hit Kisa's brain, the raven lets himself be pulled in - lets himself be dazzled by Yukina's love. What shocks him is that when his prince does have hold of him, he hugs Kisa's small body and tightly envelopes him in his arms - doing nothing once more but hugging.

Surprised at this genuine and pure love, Kisa cries silent tears. He'd already gotten many hugs from Yukina - he should be used to his. However, just when he needed this the most, his lover understood it. Such a simple thing as this makes him cry as he squeezes his lover back, wishing that time would stop right here.

* * *

Trembling lips are covered with confident ones as Yukina tries to be as gentle as possible while kissing Kisa. It's been just a few hours after their 'hugging moment' which turned into 'having a long nap while hugging'. He knows that Kisa is very fragile right now, but the boy could use a kiss right now, most likely as an energy source. Kisa doesn't mind, in fact, any of it - he feels like everything inside him is coming back to life - as if he's a car that's being started again after weeks of negligence.

Soon, though, kisses begin to change routes... as Kisa's lips suddenly dart at Yukina's neck.

The raven is taken back when his lover 'eeps', something Yukina has never done.

Looking up, Kisa giggles. _Did he really just do that?_

The slight awkward blush on Yukina's face affirms that.

After that, Kisa feels so much in control of the situation - the power feels good in his hands as he leans up to nibble on his prince's sexy collarbone, indulging in the sweet, yet amazingly hot piece of meat. On the other hand, Yukina's heart is going crazy right now and so are his thoughts. He doesn't know what to do or where to start! He knows that Kisa is 100% more experienced than he is, but gosh, it's been so long since they've done it that Yukina has forgotten his moves (which should be impossible to forget!). And every time Kisa bites into his neck, he can't help but shudder in pleasure.. the sweet pleasure of being loved is too good that even the thought of doing anything is gone from his mind.

That is, until Kisa slides down. He fucking slides down and Yukina's mind goes white. _Wh-wh-at?!_

It was suddenly a matter of who's comforting who now. Kisa had cried, got comforted and somehow he's up (well down, right now...) and active! Not in the least as depressed as Yukina assumed. He should be happy, but his surprise is too much.

More shudders come as he is pushed onto the bed on his back, while Kisa's at his dick.

He looks up to see Kisa's small fingers wrap around it and Yukina's breath stops.

_Is he...? No, he w-wouldn't..!?_

The raven ducks down, his tongue seductively licking his lips before they reach the tip of Yukina's oncoming erection.

* * *

As much as Kisa looks cool with his mouth on sucking Yukina's dick, his confidence is super low - he doesn't even know if he's actually pleasing his lover or just becoming a nuisance as he attempts to pleasure him. After Yukina cums, the raven is just glad his lover smiles - or else he would've thought he'd messed up somewhere along the way. His heart is beating at in insane pace and his whole body reeks of sweat, but he continues to put on an air of confidence (something he recently learned to do). All the while he's kissing Yukina or is enjoying being groped by him, deep down he's wondering if his lover is liking it as much as he is - because personally, despite his confidence level, he's on fucking cloud nine right now, going higher every second. But the question remains, does Yukina still feel the same...?

Once more, their eyes meet as Yukina is towering over him and they don't say a word - their grunts, moans, and inaudible pants were hot enough to go on. But this time, when their eyes meet, Kisa has puppy-dog-eyes that scream 'are you in love with me?' while Yukina's eyes are like 'I do, I love you very much' - however, Kisa still doesn't get it until the boy leans down to kiss him, probably sensing Kisa's insecurity.

When they break apart the wet kiss, the first words of the night are spoken, shocking the hell out of Kisa.

"Shouta-san... I... I love you...," Yukina confesses, his brown eyes focusing lovingly into Kisa's dark eyes.

A blush covers Kisa's face and tears immediately come after. Why... is he always so relieved when hearing the words..? Were actions seriously not enough...?

* * *

1 hour later:

Correction: actions were more than enough. Kisa is now once more cuddling with his lover after hot make-up sex and he doesn't care how sweaty they are, he's just happy being with Yukina.

"Shouta-san... I'm going to quit my vengeance," Yukina whispers abruptly, somewhat ruining Kisa's good mood.

Kisa shrugs and leans in closer to catch Yukina's manly scent.

"... So, are you okay with that? Are you... disappointed?" His prince closes his eyes, scared to see Kisa's reaction.

But the raven laughs.

"Ha! Disappointed? Why would I be disappointed? I never wanted you to do it in the first place," Kisa half-frowns as he mentally casts aside his traumatic memories - memories that'll he'll finally forget instead of safely locking them away.

"Really? Don't... people usually like their boyfriends being heroic and fighting off their enemies?" The handsome youth asks, his face truly surprised. Miki told him the stuff he was doing was awesome and he should keep finding the bullies.

"N-NO!" The raven surprisingly laughs again. Each laugh shocks Yukina's momentarily sensitive heart. He's worried that the raven is faking it or something. "Who told you that? That only happens in Shoujo manga!"

"Oh.. then never mind... So, you don't like heroic guys?" Yukina raises a brow.

Kisa places his chin on his lover's arm. "Yup. I like... you." He finishes it simply, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"And I am..?" Yukina asks, curious.

"Dazzling," Kisa smiles, being super honest at the moment. Maybe it was the heat getting to him... He instantly blushes after he says it, but Yukina's heard it and it's too late to say 'I'm just joking' because that would sound awful.

Yukina is so touched that he doesn't respond at first, scaring Kisa into thinking that the boy is disgusted.

"I'm s-sorry if that surprised you...," the raven backs off a bit, scooting aside.

His prince pulls him back, wanting to keep his lover near him. "No... well, it did surprise me, but not in a bad way... I'm just.. I don't know... touched? No, more like... I just fell in love with you again."

Kisa pushes him away, blushing tomato red. "L-Liar! T-that's definitely a lie!"

"E-eh!? Wait, I'm not lying!" Yukina tries to pull him back, but Kisa keeps swatting his hands away like a 5th grader trying to fight.

"C-Clearly that was a lie - Why would y-you be touched by that?" Kisa frowns, dubious.

"Because...," his prince breathes in deeply, "... I'm glad you think of me the way I think of you... To me, you, in one word, are dazzling, Shouta-san."

By now Kisa's heart is killing him, thumping like a wild beast. He can feel his face become hot, his vision being blurred by the hotness. He can't look away, though - Yukina's earnest eyes have pulled him in like a black hole, sucking him into his world, his pace.

And then they kiss again, too attracted to keep their hands off each other.

* * *

Next morning, Kisa wakes up next to a naked body. It surprises him that the guy has such a smooth and lean body - as if it were molded by Gods specially made for Kisa, for him solely to enjoy. In the morning light, the raven dares to place his warm hands on the tempting body in front of him. Sensing no response from Yukina, he continues to poke and bother his lover's chest. Usually, in this situation, his hands should go down... but he actually goes up.

Kisa almost dies of shock when Yukina's hand grabs his wrist. He gasps and his whole body jolts, feeling the impact.

"...! Y-You scared me!" Kisa complains, scowling.

"And me? You were touching me... so sensuously with those perverted eyes... I thought you were going to eat me," Yukina smiles, giving that prince-like radiant smile.

The raven laughs. "Ah, you caught me too early, Kou - I was picking out what to attack first."

"Aha! So you admit it!" The prince chuckles back. "Oi, so really... are we skipping school today?"

Dark eyes flutter up, his heart flying. "...Yes." He blushes.

Yukina's eyes glint. "Oh, Shouta-san... where should we start?"

He doesn't know what to say, but his loud growling stomach says it for him.

"Breakfast?" His prince laughs, surprised at the loud noise.

"... Brunch," Kisa blushes more, mortified this time. _Stupid stomach! Ruining the perfect morning!_

* * *

**Author: Thanks for reading and please review. ^^ **

**~THE END~ :D**


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